We the Weirdos

Chapter Three

I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.

Actually, if it were up to me, I would throw bricks at everyone. But then the world would run out of bricks and we'll have a national brick shortage phase, and believe me when I say this, I don't want it to happen. Even if I get to see the hilarious expression in their face when I throw the brick.

So now, I'm saving the bricks for the people that deserve bricks. Like Annoying Dude. And Lysander. And other people I think that need a brick to make their day. I'm kind, thank you, thank you.

This morning, I got a text message. I'm sure it's been a few hundred years since I got a text that's not from my family. I'm very popular, I know. Not.

Text message says:

Person: Hi

Me: Who are you?

Person: good morning to you as well. it's me

Me: Thanks for the help.

Person: it's Lysander.

He actually knows how to capitalize things. Never knew that, fun fact.

And he can spell! Cool. I'm going to bug him.

Me: Like from A Midsummer's Night Dream? Where's Hermia?

Person: Who's Hermia?

I sigh. He's not Lysander from a Midsummer's Night Dream, then. At least he's the stupid Lysander I know.

Person: I'm probably texting the wrong person. I was looking for Juliet. Sorry.

He actually capitalized EVERYTHING and he had correct punctuation.

I decided to bug him one more bit before breaking the news to the idiot.

Me: Well then aren't you Romeo if you're looking for Juliet?

Person: I don't have to be Romeo. And I think the person I'm looking for is Julianna. She's actually pretty nice.

He deserves all the bricks in the world to be thrown at him.

Me: It's Julia, you dimwit. And 'she' is right here, you idiot.

Person: I'll see you at school then.

I didn't even want to reply.

I was going to summon the holy bricks.
___________

The holy bricks were nowhere to be found, unfortunately.

I actually did a good job avoiding him. Until he found me at lunch and came asking me if I had potato chips.

"I'm not a goddess and I do not summon potato chips!"

"Oh come on! Do you have potato chips?"

"I just said I didn't! Are you deaf?"

"There is no such thing as deaf with potato chips."

"Just write an essay about how amazing potato chips, will you? Let me enjoy my lunch in peace. Thanks."

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked.

"Do I look like I have a choice to not answer it?"

"Why does 'fridge' have a 'd,' but why doesn't 'refrigerator' have one?"

"If I knew the answer, would I be here right now?"

"Probably not."

"Exactly. I'm not a genius, unlike you."