Rough Edges (Levi Ackerman X Reader)

Chapter 12 - Starry Night

Your POV

I stood in the doorway frozen, not knowing whether to stay or leave. We have to confront each other at some point, but I was still processing everything. Mixed emotions washed over me as we locked eyes. Anger for how he used me, pity for the choice he had to make, guilt for almost killing him, and slight happiness for an unknown reason.

He stood up and took a couple step forward, causing me to instinctively reach for my knife. He raised his hand to signal he wouldn't do anything. "I'm not gonna hurt you..... as long as you promise not to choke me again."

The cool night breeze blew his hair across his face and the moonlight shone on his neck, revealing dark and purple bruises. I let a slight gasp and put a hand to my mouth. "Levi, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you like that, and I take back everything I said, that was out of line."

He looked slightly shocked and confused. "You're seriously apologizing to me? After everything I did?"

Crossing my arms defensively I glare at him. "Listen, I don't trust you anymore, and it will take a lot for me to forgive what you've done. But, who you saw that day wasn't me, I didn't mean anything I said and I would never want to kill you."

He walked back over to the spot he was sitting at and plopped down, hanging a leg off the ledge. "You're right though. I was willing to kill a girl I cared about and a well respected man without a second thought for my own selfish reasons. I'm exactly like the rest of filth that roams the Underground."

I walk over and slowly sit next to him, letting out a small grunt as my ribs protested the change in position. Grabbing his chin to force him to face at me, I look into his eyes, "But you didn't kill me. You had plenty of chances to kill me but something held you back and you hesitated. Most thugs from the Underground don't even need an excuse to kill someone, they'll do it for fun. That's how you're different, you did what you had to in order to secure a better life for you and your friends, not because you're just some monster."

He shifted his body so he was completely facing me and reached up, cupping my left cheek in his hand, gently rubbing circles over my dressing. "(Y/N). I know nothing I can do will make up for what I did. But I did mean everything I said to you that day by the lake. You're special to me, and I hate myself for growing as close to you as I did because I just ended up hurting you in the end."

He dropped his hand from my cheek and turned back to look up at the stars. "Isabel and Farlan meant the world to me, they we're the closest thing I had to family. I had to do everything in my power to get a better life for us." He paused and turned back to me. "I'm sorry everything got so messed up between us, but I had to put them first."

I give him a sad smile. "I understand, I know how much they mean to you. Unfortunately I don't think our relationship could ever go back to how it was, that ship has sailed. But, you guys are still my comrades, so I'll still treat you with respect in that regards."

I glance around, realizing that the trio isn't together as per usual. "Where are Isabel and Farlan anyways? You guys are always together."

He looks at me with a shocked expression, but quickly his features sadden and he looks down at his lap. Then it hit me. I didn't realize at first how he kept referring them in past tense.

"Levi? Please tell me they're okay."

A sinking feeling forms in my stomach as he continues to remain silent. I cup his face between my hands and force his head up to look at me. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw his eyes were glossy on the verge of tears.

He grabs one my hands with his and squeezes. His voice is slightly shaky as he talks in his normal monotoned voice, "I was too late. The titan got to them first and- " He breaks away from my hands and goes back to staring forward. "I'm sure you know the rest."