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The end is just the beginning
Zayn's POV
I layed in the mess I'd created, heart hammering against my chest for what seemed like forever before I decided to go for a walk. I desperately needed some air before I was suffocated by the stiffling presence that was reality. My reality. Never before had I wanted to escape the present so badly. The wind hit my face as soon as I stepped outside, and I savoured the long gulf of breath I took. My thoughts were swimming in my head at an alarming speed, causing a headache. You'd think you wouldn't be able to think with your head pounding so loud you can barely hear what's going on around you, turns out...you can.I kept walking, although I could slowly feel my chest began to expand and I couldn't breathe anymore. I began shaking violently, struggling to get some air to my lungs. No, no, not a panic attack. I hadn't had those in years. It felt like the life was being sucked right out of my body. Never in my life had a panick attack been so strong, but for some weird reason, all I could think about was my father. I just knew something terrible had happened. I could feel it. I forced my legs to work and ran. I ran as fast as I could with a heavy chest. But even then, I was too late. I found Martha bent over infront of him, sobbing silently into his pillow. Jameel Malik was gone. I turned silently and left the room, in some sort of daze. My heart ached and felt heavy for all the time lost. All the time I spent hating him. All the time wasted. I was alone. I had no other family left. I turned and walked to Jason Castallen's house. In hopes of finding Josephine Castellan.
****
I knocked on the door softly, waiting patiently until the door was opened by a tall slightly stout woman. Jason's mother. "Jason! Your friend is here to see you!" She called over her shoulder. "I'm actually here to see you," I said. "May I come in?" "Of course," she stepped aside to let me inside and led the way to the living room. "Can I ask what you want to speak to me about?" "Do you know Jameel Malik?" I didn't miss the way her polite smile faltered and her eyes slightly watered. She knew him. "Yes." Her expression was suddenly solemen and rueful. "And is Jason his son?" There would be no use trying to divert the question, it had to be asked and it had to be asked now. All the colour seemed to drain from her face for only a moment, but a moment long enough for me to notice for nothing missed my sharp eye. She nodded slowly, eyes cast at her feet."Yes." "What do you mean yes? You told me I didn't have a father! That he died before I was born." Jason's voice rose with every syllable. I stood up, deciding I didn't want to witness whatever was going to happen here. "I just came to tell you he's dead." And with that I turned and left.
****
The setting sun cast an orange glow to the lake, a picture perfect scene. But the real beauty was the girl sitting only a few feet away from me on the wooden deck. I knew I had to go home, arrange the funeral but I wanted to take sometime off before I was thrown back into the chaotic world. Camilla turned and net my gaze, offering me a smile. "You're oddly quiet today," she commented. "Really?" I looked away, knowing that she'd instantly know something was off if I let her see my eyes. "Something is bothering you. Tell me." She placed a hand on my own, intertwining our fingers. I looked down at our hands, feeling my heavy heart lift bit when she gave my hand a little squeeze. Little things like that always put me at ease. "My father passed away yesterday afternoon," I chuckled sadly when her jaw dropped. "I-I have no idea what to say that could possibly make you feel better," she said softly. "I'm sorry, Z. Really, I am." "Don't be," I bit out. "It's not your fault." "It's not yours either," she squeezed my hand again. "Let's swim." She suddenly stood, taking off her shirt. "I'd rather not-" I began to decline but she had already pulled me into the cold water. Fully clothed. After I resurfaced, I turned to her with mock anger. "Revenge," she shrugged, playfully splashing some water at me. I laughed, shaking my head at how good it felt to do so. She moved closer, wrapping her arms around my neck. "You're not fine. And it's okay," She began, staring into my eyes. "You're not made of metal. You're human, just like the rest of us. And it's okay to feel." I nodded, wrapping my arms to pull her closer. "I'm here for you," she continued, forehead against my own. "I know you are," I hummed. We fell into a comfortable silence, arms around each other. The huge hole in my chest filled itself. I wasn't so sad anymore. "When is his funeral," her voice shattered the silence, her question cutting through the lake and bouncing back to us. "Tomorrow." She nodded, silently brining her soft lips to mine. She was my anchor, an open pathway to a life of tranquility. And as long as I had her by my side, I could actually do this.
THE END
There is a sequel in the works!!!! The name is Mind of Mine and it's coming out in July ( cause of the June exams and everything).
Picture above is of the cover!!! Anyway really hope you enjoyed this book and I assure that the sequel will not disappoint- trust me. Thank you so much for giving my book a chance - I really really appreciate it.
{Time line}
Started: 25 December 2020
Finished: 13 June 2021
I think I'm going to submit this book for the wattys but I'm not sure yet. I'll let ya'll know if I do.
