Outsider Syndrome: Everlasting (Bonus Content)

Chapter 4 - "Past Ties"

Daisuke Kamakiri's POV:

Mulling over things in silence was one of her worst habits.

While her idiocy led her to be impulsive and stubborn in horrible situations, for the most part, she bottled up her negative emotions so nobody would have to worry about her. She was never without an unreserved grin. Unless, of course, she was busy tearing up over small, heartwarming gestures.

She could be easy to read and at the same time, stubborn. If I outright asked her what was bothering her lately, she'd either play it off or lie that nothing was bothering her. Rarely did she ever admit to her feelings upfront.

Cooking for her was my roundabout method of getting to the bottom of her uneasiness. She was overjoyed, which was an added bonus, but time had slipped away before I could get any answers out of her.

Why couldn't she be more honest? It was ironic, coming from me. But if she was going to make it obvious something was bothering her, the least she could do was bounce it off of me.

"Sure in the future we'll probably disagree. There's no guarantee either of us won't hurt the other either. But, I want to reach a point we can move past that by talking it over and reaching an understanding. This all may be wishful thinking, but that's how I feel."

Was that all flowery talk?

The bitter November wind blew through the city in unequal spurts, fanning my face and clothing. A streamline of civilians strolled to and fro the busy streets, which wasn't an uncommon sight. I sauntered through the familiar roads, my movements intuitive.

It was a topic she'd prefer tip-toeing around me, that was obvious. If I had to wager a guess, it had nothing to do with our relationship itself. Then, was she afraid she'd inconvenience me if she brought it up? That was dumb. I told her she didn't have to pay me unnecessary consideration. I should've expected she wouldn't listen.

A sigh escaped my lips.

Being so fidgety about this was a little pathetic. For all I knew, I was reading too much into it, and she was perfectly all right.

I hardly recognized myself lately. Anything that I generally found troublesome, I avoided at all costs. In terms of her, though, that wasn't an option. I got all antsy waiting for her to arrive at that room every lunch. When we agreed to meet on day offs, I arrived a whole thirty minutes early on the off chance it meant seeing her a little sooner. If she hesitated longer than usual or her tone didn't pack as energetic as a punch, I thought about it to the point where it drove me insane.

Time and time again, she effortlessly she found a way to steal my heart. A simple glance, the tiniest of smiles, habits and expressions. . .

I convinced myself I'd prepared accordingly when I asked her out. That since I already realized my feelings for her, I'd maintain my cool no matter what she threw at me. I was terribly mistaken. From the moment I met her, and when we starting dating, I'd set my fate. These never-ending nerves and heart flutters exemplified each passing day.

I was wrapped pathetically around her finger.

So, her consideration was meaningless. Nothing she could say or do would ever push me away from her. She could be the greediest person in the universe—request the stars themselves—and despite the impossibilities, I'd break my back in order to appease her.

Truthfully, while that was how I felt, it was hard for me to push past my awkwardness and go to such ends, especially in public. I was an introvert through and through.

All that time ago, when I did horrible things, hung with horrible people to fill the lonely void in my life, I hurt her. I made her cry. And now, I wanted nothing more than to make her the happiest I could.