Rock N'Roll Chick

Fight or Flight

I froze in shock. My body trembled.

"Well,don't just stand there! Go hug them! C.C yelled in my ear. Could've done w/o that. I stood there fear pain grief coursing through my entire body. I couldn't move. I couldn't make a sound.

Jo approached me tentatively. "Torr...I..." At that moment I collapsed into her. She caught me and we embraced just sobbing not saying a word. They didn't need to be said. Feeling her gave me.....peace.

"Well, chicks stop being selfish! There's others here too you know! Now, break up the love fest and give mom a hug." C.C. of course.

I knew what and who he meant. Deborah.  I stepped back from Jo but I couldn't look her in the eye. I stood still my eyes downcast. I'm so ashamed. She must hate me. I became my mother. God,if you're there,help.

"Torr," Deborah said in between sobs,"we've missed you.  I love you."

I just stood there. My mom. The one I always wanted.  She held out her arms and I flew into them. Crying,sobbing,my body wracking with sobs. "Shh sweetheart,were here." I clung to her.
"You're not alone. You will never leave us again! Do you hear me?" She half scolded. I stepped back and smiled.

"I'm so ashamed. I figured you would just hate me. What I've become."
She shook her head.  "You're family. That never has not will it ever change"

Bret held my hand giving me strength and comfort. He knew I needed them.

"Alright. Enough of this mushy shit. Let's eat!" C.C. shouted. Why I don't know we were right there.  Food was prepared and we all sat around the  table just like old times. And, for the first time in nearly 10 years I felt happy.