Rock N'Roll Chick

Two Weddings and a Tour

"I'm sorry. What the hell did you just say?"
I sat in my doctor's office. I could not believe what I was hearing.
He began speaking again.
"Yes, it is true. The loss of your baby was not your fault nor was there anything you could have done. You've been pregnant before,yes?"
I bowed my head. "Yes."
"Well, not all ended in abortion. You've had miscarriages before. This pregnancy lasted the longest so I never picked up on anything. Honestly, I thought your symptoms were due to your drug use and stressors. But, no for you,that is not the case. Again, in short, whenever you become pregnant your body sees it as a foreign object to be destroyed. So, it does. It's sadly quite common.
And, if you ever choose to have a baby you will have to seek alternative means."

I drove home in a haze. Half relieved half sad. But, it wasn't my fault! I am not my parents! That made me feel elated. I immediately called Jo and told her. She felt the same way I did.
Then,she asked "Are you going to tell Bret?"
I thought for a moment.
"No. He's moved on. I am going to give him that."
I could tell she didn't agree but didn't push the issue.
I hung up and drove to sign my divorce papers. It was over in 10 minutes. His settlement was beyond generous but I wouldn't take it. I didn't need it. And, it didn't feel right.
That's it. Now, I'm single and divorced. I hated to admit it,but it did leave me feeling a little sad. Nikki will always hold a special place in my heart.

The tour was one of our best on record. We sold out every arena,every stadium,every outhouse,dog house it just kicked ass. I sang with everything I had. I worked the crowds into frenzied monsters. We had fun. I kept a close eye on Kriss,who was getting more and more tired but she played on.

Jo was always there watching from the sidelines. Her and Danny were so cute it made me want to vomit and giggle all at the same time. I even brought her on stage and introduced her as the newest member of our family. The crowd went nuts.

Hell,even the critics were praising us. They were only saying great things so much so I was starting to think we were in a zombie apocalypse.

We were on such a roll that in between shows we finished our new album. My awesome band gave me full writing credit and attributed the success of it due to me. Bullshit. It's a team effort. But, that tripled the sales of our last two albums.

Once again,we were on top of the world. But, we were sober and growing up. Hell,we were doing great.

"Stop fidgeting. You look gorgeous. " I said to Kriss. She was in her wedding dress and despite her swollen belly,she looked beautiful.
"No. I'm nervous and I look like a whale."
"Oh. Stop. You're beautiful. " And she was. Both Jo and Kriss were stunning brides. I was so happy for them. A small part was just a little sad but I decided to push that away until later.

I had to get through seeing Bret first. He was obviously in the wedding. The best man and I the maid of honor. Not a coincidence. I could've killed them all. Last night,the rehearsal and dinner went smoothly. My brother Tony is in the wedding too and we did speak. We're actually going out for dinner in two days. I'm ready. So is he.

He is another family and we want to get to know each other. He went through hell and back as I did and it was time to put it behind us. He was actually working for Bret now. His bodyguard. Tony looked and acted the part and he loved it.

Bret's family took him in like they did me all those years ago. Debbie and I reconciled and our relationship evolved into mother/daughter. They loved me and I loved them. I surveyed the brides,the guests gathering below and felt truly blessed.

Just get through seeing Bret. Pretend he is someone else like Rick Grimes. I told myself that as I walked down the aisle before the beautiful brides. I looked at the men at the altar and they all looked so handsome and happy. I looked at Bret and our eyes locked. I felt it again. That same electric charge,the pull toward him I cannot control. Stop it! Just walk you idiot! But, I looked and knew he felt it too.

The ceremony was beautiful and touching. I gave my maid of honor speech and needed fresh air. Well,a cigarette. The dances were coming up next. God help me. I have to dance with him.
"Hey Tor." I froze.
It was Bret.
"Hey Bret."
"Beautiful wedding."
"Yes,it was."
"Their all so happy."
"Yes,they are."
Silence. Well,this was going well.
"Got an extra smoke?"
I handed him one. We smoked in silence.
"So, where's the slut bitch you're dating?"
Bret actually laughed. "Never one to mince words,are you?"
I shrugged.
"Oh. She met Tommy Lee on a beach and married him two days later. So, I guess you could say we're done."
"Good planning on her part. Way to take it slow."
He shrugged. "I'm not too broken up over it. She was just a distraction."
I nodded. I got that.
"I don't see Nikki here."
I looked sideways at him.
"He wasn't invited. We're divorced. It ended well."
Silence. We both stood there inches from each other I could feel the heat between us. Fuck it. I'm going for it. Oh,Lord help me.
"Bret, I want you to know I love you. I am in love with you. I never stopped. I never will. You saved me. Many times. Our baby..."
He interrupted "Jo told me the truth. I'm sorry for what I said. I never should have. It never was and never will be your fault."

Despite myself, I was crying.
"Anyway, thank you Bret. I love you."
I turned to walk when he grabbed my wrist.
Despite myself,he was crying.
"Do you know how long I've waited to hear that? How I've longed to hear those words. I see you. The real you. And, I love her; you. I'm madly in love with you. I want to make a family with you,no matter how,be your husband,make pancakes on Sundays and be your hero. Make the darkness go away. "

He paused and we were both crying.
He looked around then pulled me into him. He kissed me long and hard.
"Everyone is here. Our family, our friends,the minister."
He got down on one knee.
"Will you marry me? Like now?"
I didn't even hesitate.
"Yes!"
He stood and grabbed my wrist.
"Well,then let's go tell them to get ready for another wedding!"

*The End.*