Hate Me Harder [BxB] ✔️ [NOT EDITED]

(30) Hate the feel of him

It felt like a dream.

Feeling like that again. Feeling as if I had fire on my lips, feather on my neck, warmth on my face.

I ignored the first thing I should do and did what I needed to do. I kissed back. I used the same amount of power as him, making noises from the back of my throat. Noises I never thought I'd make with just a kiss.

I prayed that he didn't feel what I was giving. I prayed that he didn't feel that I wanted it. That he didn't understand that I felt more.

Max was holding me like I was a fragile thing that would drop and shatter any time soon. I felt like it. 

He held me so safely, a hand on my neck, angling so we stayed perfectly well together. He'd slipped his other hand other my blanket covered hips at some point and I could feel his whole body through the thick material. He wasn't pressing too hard, more like a tease, experimenting.

I didn't move though. My hands were frozen covering my body while my lips did everything. Then I felt him lean away and I followed, shamelessly. Because it wasn't enough.

We pulled apart slowly, pressing our forehead together to stay stable. If he let go, I knew I'd fall to the ground. We were breathing hard, and I dragged my face down so it was leaning on his nose.

"Tell me..." Max muttered between breaths. I didn't know if he had his eyes open or closed. I didn't want to know just yet. "Tell me that you didn't feel anything just now without lying."

He knew that I couldn't. Not when, there was so much things running in my body, my head. I was a little thankful of the blanket, because that meant I could hide exactly how I was feeling. I don't even want to know what Max would think if he saw it.

Heck, I knew I'd die of a heart attack.

The guy I somehow suddenly felt things for kissed me, multiple times. And here I was, accusing him for raping me.

"I know Alan... I know that you can't." His fingers brushed against my chin and lifted my face to separate ourselves. He stared right into my eyes. "I know you felt something." Then he smiled, satisfied with himself.

Suddenly, I felt self-conscious. There must be something more than what I was getting at. This must've been a joke to him.

"There was something there, wasn't it?"

I stared at him, clueless. How was I supposed to feel?

Before I could say anything, he was leaning down again and capturing my lips with his. This time, he kissed slow, as if he had all the time in the world. Not wanting to push back just yet, I kissed back, letting go of my tight grip on the blanket.

I tried to weave my hands through his hips but I barely got through one. Testing the waters, I blindly lifted it up to hang out his shoulder while I continued to kiss him. Max held on tight so the blanket didn't fall and I finally got comfortable with my position.

I did the same thing with my other arm and wrapped it around his shoulders, hugging him as he kissed me light, soft and sweet.

He started down my jaw and onto my neck and I couldn't help the butterflies fluttering inside, making me gasp.

That made him go faster, and I kneaded through his hair, pulling it not too hard. Just enough to indicate that he was driving me crazy. And then he pulled my body close to him and that snapped me back to reality.

I pulled away, as if he'd zapped me.

He didn't let go, thankfully, but I was able to retreat from his bottom half from mine. I was back to clutching the blankets and Max looked surprised. Dazed, but surprised.