Dick: where my hug at
Damian: in the past
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Interviewer: why does batman show the bottom of his face
Nightwing: so he can breath easier while fighting or chasing someone
Red robin: so he can communicate clearly with people
Red hood: so he can yell at people
Robin: so the police know he's white
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Roy: *playing piano*
Jason: 🎶suck a dick, suck a dick, suck a mother fucking dick🎶
Roy: 🎶suck a huge or small dick🎶
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Dick: *to Kori* 🎶I love you bitch. I ain't go neva stop loving you biiiitch🎶
Kori: *scared and confused*
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Stephanie: I GOT IT YES BITCHES. CHOCOLATEVINELLASWIRLWITHCOOKIECRUNCHPLEASE
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Damian: 🎶wait oh yeah wait a minute Mr postman 🎶
Alfred: 🎶yeeeeaaahh🎶
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Bruce: what
Damian: YOU NOT MY DAD, fuckin' ugly ass always wanna hear something
Talia: Yes he is
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Tim: I WANT TO FUCKING DIIIIIEEEEEEEE
Jason: there's bleach under the sink
Damian: some rope in the pantry if that's more your preference
Steph: if you jump of Wayne Enterprise, do a flip
Bruce:...
Dick:...
Cass:...
Babs:...
Seline:... Why. Just why
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Jason: *high* yoooooo if you cut of your leg would it hurt
Tim: are you dumb of course it would
Jason: but like where would it hurt
Tim: in your le- woah
Jason/Tim: but how would it hurt if your leg is gone woooooaaaaaahhhhh
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Damian: Hey beloved this is a secret base right
Garfield: totally secret bruh
Damian: them why is it a giant tower shaped like a T
Garfield: didn't think about that
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Damian: hey babe ask me what I would do if we broke up
Garfield: what would you do if we broke up
Damian: go back with my ex
Garfield: *triggered* THEN GO WITH HIM.
Damian: wait
Garfield: NO GO BACK WITH JON, WHY ARE YOU EVEN WITH ME THEN
Damian: you would be my ex idiot
Garfield: oohhhh
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Garfield: *walks in and sees Damian* oh wow
Damian: hey beloved I missed y-
Batman: *comes out of nowhere* HELL NO, HELL NO, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SON
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Young Bruce: ALFRED HELP I CAN'T BREATH
Alfred: you good, back in the day we didn't have air, we couldn't breathe
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Tim: you wouldn't like me without my coffee
Damian: oh really cause I fucking hate you, all the time
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Hits blunt thoughts
Jason: *hits blunt* if I weigh 99 pounds and I eat 1 pound of nachos, am I 1% nacho?
Batfam: yeahhhhhhh
--------
Dick: *his blunt* if Lightning McQueen needed to go to the hospital would he he need life insurance or car insurance?
Batfam: yeahhhhhhh
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Damian: *hits blunt* why is there a D in fridge but not I refrigerator?
Batfam: yeahhhhhhh
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Tim: *hits blunt* what happens if Pinocchio says "my nose will now grow"?
Batfam: yeahhhhhhh
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Stephanie: *hits blunt* is the S or the C silent is scent?
Batfam: yeahhhhhhh
--------
Babs: *hits blunt* if I am waiting for the waiter aren't I the waiter?
Batfam: yeahhhhhhh
-------
Cass: *hits blunt* why are babies in the womb for 9 months but we aren't 9 months old when we are born?
Batfam: yeahhhhhhh
--------
Alfred: *hits blunt* when you buy a bigger bed you have more bed room, but less bedroom!
Batfam: yeahhhhhhh
Alfred: you do know that marijuana has not yet been made legal in Gotham city.
Batfam: yeahhhh- wait what
YOU ARE READING
Damian Wayne Oneshots
FanfictionIt's mostly angst. There is absolutely no y/n or x reader. And there is a lot of shit I may have made up but that's almost kinda the point of fan fiction and one shots. Using popular characters from books, TV shows, and movies and making short stori...
