Love with strings detached

Chapter 1

Theo's P.O.V

Do you believe in fate?

I don't.

I think that you're the only one that rules your life. You're truly the only one that can decide who you want to be, what you want to do, with who you want to be, where you want to live. The decisions that you make will have an impact on your life. You're the only one shaping your future. I don't believe in higher powers from above or below.

Do you agree with the everything happens for a reason statement?

I don't.

Can you say to someone that's been through traumatic situations like being sexually assaulted, beaten, verbally or emotionally abused, lost their parents, lost their loved ones that everything happens for a reason? Or does this statement all of a sudden doesn't apply to everything?

I feel like some people throw out this statement when they don't know what to say and honestly is better to keep your mouth shut and just be honest if you don't have something to say, it's not that hard.

And how shitty is this other thing that people say to someone that's hurting that oh, don't worry mate other people have it worse?

So, what?

Am I not allowed to feel hurt because some stranger might be hurting more than me? What kind of logic is that?

There's a difference between saying to someone to be grateful and invalidating their feelings. Like yeah, I am grateful that I have people around me that care about me. I'm grateful for the roof over my head, the food on the table, my good health, my education and the warm clothes that I have to wear when it's freezing here.

I'm grateful that I'm alive.

I'm not though going to hide my pain just because there are millions of people that are hurting more than me. I'm allowed to feel and be vocal about my feelings just like everyone else. 

Two knocks on the door shift my gaze from the beautiful orange-purple sunset outside my window to the white door across my room.

"You can come in," I yell already knowing who's going to be there.

"Hi, honey, are you ready for tomorrow? Have you packed everything? Have you booked a taxi? Do you want me to cook you anything to take with you tomorrow?" My aunt starts shooting at me question after question.

"Yes, almost, yes and no," I say, answering all her questions. 

"Okay, what's left to pack?" She asks, looking around my room.

"I have to put my toiletries and pyjamas in tomorrow morning," I say looking back at my window.

"Okay, don't forget them but even if you do you we can drive them to you or we can send them to you, okay honey?"

"Yes, I know," I say, leaning my head back on the pillow.

"Perfect, and what time are you leaving again tomorrow morning?" She asks coming closer to me.

"I'm leaving at 8 am," I say glancing at her as she sits next to me.

"Okay honey, I'm going to go finish food if you want I can pack you the leftovers to take with you," she says before leaning in to kiss my head.

"Yeah, okay," I say softly as she stands up to leave.

"Perfect, it'll be ready in about 15 minutes," she says whilst standing at my door.

"Okay, I'll come downstairs when it's ready," I say, nodding at her.

"Great, I'll let you be then," she says before shutting the door behind her. 

Ugh, university. More studying, more assignments, more opportunities for me to fail and more boring lectures. I can't wait to be done with uni even though I haven't even started my first year yet. I've done my foundation year though and my God was that boring! If it wasn't for my best mate being there with me I think I might have dropped out.

University isn't particularly something that I really wanted to do anyway but in our society, today, having a degree can open a lot more doors to you and help you find a job a little bit easier. The ridiculous thing is that everyone wants job experience above all lately but how am I going to get the relevant job experience if none of you hires me?

I'm certainly excited though to move out. I can't wait to be living alone in my own space. Living alone does mean cooking, cleaning, tidying, doing the laundry, making the bed, doing the grocery shopping and waking up on your own, on time for lectures and stuff but there are also good things that come with it.

I'll have privacy, I can do whatever I want whenever I want without anyone prying on me or stopping me. Like, I can sleep whenever I want and eat whatever I feel like eating at the time. I can go out whenever and stay there for as long as I want now. I can hang out with my friends more and party more.

I will be living in student accommodation but in a studio, this particular building has different sizes of just studios. The only thing I'll be sharing with people is the laundry room and I couldn't be happier for that.

I take one last glance outside the window before rolling down the blind. I'll go and have a quick 10-minute shower before the food is ready. I grab my towels and go to the small bathroom right next to my room shutting and locking the door behind me. I open the water and let it warm up as I take my clothes off.

I run my hand through my naturally blonde hair, messing them up before taking out my small silver hoop earring that I had on my left ear, leaving it on the side of the sink. I have both ears pierced even though I don't really wear earrings it's just something I did when I was drunk one afternoon with the boys.

Glancing into my hazel coloured eyes I'm unable to not let my gaze rise on the small scar on my eyebrow. I have had that scar for 3 years now so, I'm used to it by this point. Other than that I have a plain straight nose and quite full lips that I tend to bite a lot.

I take a step back to get a better look at my upper body. I started exercising more consistently at 17 and it has paid off. I have a nice toned body thanks to all the time I spent at the gym. Looking myself in the mirror I might not be anything special but I'll say I'm a good looking lad.

I get rid of my underwear and put it in the laundry basket with the rest of my clothes before getting in the shower. Letting the warm droplets trace my skin, I grab the shower gel and run it across my tattooed cover arm first.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I'll sleep well tonight. My sleep always gets disturbed when I'm excited about something happening the next day. I wonder what type of neighbours I'll have if I'll have any. I hope I don't end up with weirdos living next door to mine.

"Theo, food is ready," I hear my uncles muffled voice from downstairs.

"Coming," I yell back hoping he heard me and won't come looking for me.

Last dinner with them Theo and from tomorrow, you'll be eating alone most nights.

New beginnings are coming...

A/N

And so the journey to love, learn, accept and move on has begun...👀

So, what do we think about Theo? First impressions?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Please don't forget to comment & vote, it really helps me out a lot!

Hope you have a nice day/night! Xx

All the love - M ❤️