𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐞 ✓

"State Of Numbness"

Sun Cannon Hill

“Thanks for coming. I almost thought you weren’t going to show up.” Holden says whilst offering Addison a seat on the back of his truck.

“I realised when it comes to you, I’d always show up.”

“How are you feeling about everything that’s going on?”

“I’m not sure what to feel. Right now, until I learn the truth, I’m existing in a state of numbness.”

“Do you really want to know if your father is guilty or not? I mean you two have just started building a relationship, one you’ve craved for growing up. Your mum was leaving you without any type of explanation, maybe Karma just caught up with her.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to sleep at night knowing my father is a murderer and I’m playing happy families with him.”

“I’m just saying, are you ready to lose both parents?”

“Enough about me, let’s get down to the real reason I’m here.” Addison avoids his question.

“I get the fact that you want to honour your father’s legacy, but what about creating one of your own? If you follow in his footsteps doesn’t that mean you would reach the same destination, that being an early grave?” Addison looks down at her feet, her voice almost hoarse.

“Maybe I’m being selfish, but I just don’t want to be in a world without Holden Daze.”

“My entire life, bull riding was oddly the only constant thing that there was. Either I was watching my father from the bleachers or sitting in front of the television every Corrida de Toro’s, I knew this was something I wanted to do myself. After my father died, it became less of a want and more of an obligation. Like I would be some sort of sissy if I didn’t back up all my talk of becoming the next great bull rider."

Addison rests her head on Holden’s shoulder as he continues to speak. This offered him some comfort, after all what he was about to say wasn’t easy.

“Overtime – okay I’m lying. After meeting you, my reason for leaving that life behind became stronger although I wasn’t strong enough to completely walk away and that cost me you. Now I just want some normality in my life, hell I don’t even know what I would want to study in college but I guess finding myself will be all the thrill I need.”

“Holden, don’t be doing this for me….”

“I’m not. If anything you’ve inspired me to see what else is out there. After our road trip, I knew I wanted more days and nights like those with the freedom of not having to worry about getting my bones broken by some beast. It’ll be tough to just give up but I hope to have you in my life to soften things out. Addison I…. - Wait right here.”

Holden jumps off the back of his truck mid-sentence leaving Addison confused. He returns with a guitar in hand, presumingly to serenade his girl.

“Holden, what are you doing?”

“I never did play for you before. My uncle’s first girlfriend was a music teacher and she would often tutor me after school so I would stay out of trouble. A couple years ago I bought my own guitar and it’s been lying on a shelf collecting dust. Now I found a reason to play it.”

Holden’s fingers start commanding and dancing along the guitar strings, producing harmonious notes. His subtle rhythm was warming, leaving Addison in shock of his skills. If that wasn’t enough to send her into a state of bliss, Holden’s sweet certainly would.