LAST EVE

fifteen

When you say that you love 'em
And you really know
Everything that used to matter, don't matter no more

Usher // u got it bad

♡♡♡♡

fifteen (short)

He was here and the way I knew was because of my sudden feeling of nervousness. Don't forget that this was someone I had given myself willingly to without any extra thinking. While I'd say Jonesy was still young in many ways, Jonesy wasn't someone you could just forget and pretend didn't exist. He was bigger than life and he demanded your attention. Even considering the time I had taken to try and forget him, it was impossible to not remember how he made me feel. Especially since I'm remembering it right now.

That's why now, after he had opened another door in understanding and has obviously shown his vigilance in pursuing me, despite my constant abrasive behavior towards him without solid evidence, I decided anything he would say, I would take the time to listen to him.

Before I could greet him, the first thing he said after dusting the snow from his hair(which was a bit overgrown now)  and coat was, "So this is where you've been hiding for the last five months." And while I could have easily come up with a snarky remark, I decided to let him have that one. I could tell he was on edge, his eyes were not as calm as they usually were, while still the same, they looked wilder. This made me wonder how he was doing. However I didn't say a word.

I just stared at him as he took his coat off. I couldn't believe he was here. He seemed so different from how I'd imagined him in my mind, better almost. He was the direct embodiment of my biggest fears and weaknesses. However, he simultaneously was the opposite as well. His eyes were still kind and understanding, despite the coldness in his voice and I knew that while he was angry, and maybe even disappointed that I had run away without letting him speak his truth, I knew Jonesy was still the same as I'd met him almost a year ago now. He was still himself.

I still hadn't said a word, I didn't know what to say yet or how to say anything at all.

"Why did you leave?" I couldn't read the emotions on his face because he wasn't giving me any. He was standing to his full height and he watched my face completely. He was watching to see if I would try and get out of this. I knew there was nowhere I could go. I wasn't backed into a corner but I wasn't free either.

"You know why," I mumbled in a small voice. He frowned.

"You never gave me a chance to explain." He didn't take a step closer, he just stayed, staring at me. "Did you really think," He paused, frowning again. "That I would have chosen someone else over you."

I didn't respond.

"This doesn't sound like you." He added. "This doesn't sound like something you would do." My eyes were still downcast. I didn't know how I would respond. I knew what I had done was childish and immature. However in my defense, I hadn't ever been in this situation before, I hadn't ever had anyone teach me about boys.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I just want you to come back. Come back home." He stood close in front of me now and I watched him as he watched me. "Will you come back home?"

I turned away as tears pooled in my eyes. "I don't know."

His arms slid around my waist and he pulled me close to him. "Please come back, Eve."