Waste It On Me (Yoonmin Au)

20- Lyrics

Jimin p.o.v

I woke up to a a whimpering sob, looking next to me I saw a half naked Yoongi sobbing to his arms, eyes closed, tears rolling down his pale face, shaking and gasping,
I turned to him and took him to my arms, he gasped and tried to push me away but I tightened my arms around him, I started leaving small pecks on his neck not fully seeing him in the darkness, humming softly a song he likes and relaxes him.

He stayed still and I know he is now awake, his sobs turned to sniffles, then a sigh, I let him go and just cuddled closer to him, he wrapped his arms around me and and sighed again.

This has became a routine now, waking up in the middle of the night to his cries, calming him, sleeping again, then sometimes waking up again and the same things happen again,
I don't mind,
Not even a one bit.

But Yoongi doesn't seem convinced, he always looks sad and regretful, he would apologize over and over in the morning when I yawn or look tired, he almost slept in the living room to avoid waking me up at night but I didn't let him,
Honestly he is worrying me, I know I can take it all and I would never get tired of him, but still...he is in pain...
All of this is an emotional pain...

I don't know what to do to him and it's breaking me..

"Sorry Jimin-ah",
"Shut up Yoongi, we talked about this",
"I know but I always wake yo-",
I cut him off kissing his lips softly,
"I would wake up every night for you and I would still wanna be with you...as long as I wake up and you are still beside me",
His sad silver eyes turned purple and he grabbed my waist laying me down over his body,
"You are perfect",
"So you are baby".

We laid there quietly just listening to each other's breathing and heartbeats,
"Min",
"Yeah?",
"What do you say...if I... Have a surgery done to end this all?",

What???

I balanced on my elbows by his head and stared at him,
"What do you mean ?",
He looked at me hesitantly and his eyes turned silver again,
"I contacted an old friend of mine, he is a surgeon, he said he can help me overcome all of this with a certain brain surgery",
"Brain surgery!! Yoongi are you crazy? That sound so dangerous!!!".

He sighed and patted my head,
"Don't worry Jimin-ah  he is so good at his work and I kno-",
"No, not happening",
"Can you at least think about it?!" ,
He looked at me desperately and I shook my head sighing,
"Where's his clinic? I need to see him myself to ask him lot of questions about your safety first",
He looked at me in anxiousness and stayed silent,
"What is it?",
"He...he isn't in Korea",
"........Excuse me what???!",
"He...is in the United States and I'm gonna need to take a flight ther-",
"Fuck no!".

I got off him and laid down next to him giving him my back announcing the end of the discussion,
"Jimin, please calm down baby I just want what is best for both of us",
I sat up and faced him,
"NO! What if it didn't go well?, what you ended up in danger? How am I gonna reach you? What am I supposed to do here in Korea while you are hours fuckin away from me to reach yo-"
"SO YOU WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER??!".

I closed my lips and stared at him,
"YOU WANT TO WAKE UP EVERY NIGHT TO A GROWN UP MAN CRYING LIKE A FUCKIN BABY CAUSE HE CAN'T GET OVER HIS CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS?!! YOU WANNA SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TAKING CARE OF ME? OR ARE YOU GONNA LEAVE ME AT THE END AFTER SOME YEARS WHEN YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH?! JIMIN I FUCKIN LOVE YOU AND I CAN'T LET YOU LEAVE..... NOT YOU...not..you... It's gonna be the hardest blow to me.... I won't be able to stand up ever again if I lost you.... Not you...".

My eyes teared up and I choked on a muffled sob,
"What should I do... to show that I love you and I'm never letting you go?",
"Nothing Jimin....just...please, I trust you okay? I trust you baby... Just at least think of it as an end to my pain as well....Jimin I deserve to live normally, to sleep normally without having the echoes of screams waking me every fuckin night...".

Both of us were crying now, he was looking at me begging, I know I can't be selfish and stop him, I know he is in so much pain,
"Yoonie...I'm just scared",
He nodded and grabbed my hands,
"I know....I'm scared too, but I promise I'm gonna be okay",
He pecked my hands and smiled sadly t me,
"I promise baby",
I sniffled and nodded at him, he took me to his arms laying us down facing each other.

"By the way, Namjoon and I are working on a song, we both can come up with some good lyrics and sounds but we can't sing, so he asked Jin and Jungkook to sing it but the tall bitch said he didn't like the lyrics so it's just Jungkook",
I giggled at that and he smiled at me.

"Can you tell me a couple of lines from it?",
"Nope, it's a surprise",
I whined and he giggled pecking me nose softly,
"But can you help me with it? I need a couple of lines and my brain stopped at this point",
"Okay what is it about?",
"Just... Any lines that comes to your little head",
I hummed and started to think.

I thought about that time before we both confessed our love, when Yoongi would just have sex with me and then leave me, how I thought I wasn't his type but I still wanted to be the only one he hang out with then throw away,

"Treat me like a comma, I'll take you to a new phrase",

He stared into my eyes and nodded to continue,
"Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away",

His eyes turned silver again and he continued with a line,
"If I'm not your taste",
I smiled sadly at him and pecked his lips,
"Babe, waste...Waste it on me".

🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅

I'm warning you I'm planning on making y'all hate me🙂🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀😂

But don't give up on the story, you don't know hoe everything might suddenly change for a better thing right? 👀👀😌🥺

Love u butters 💜🥺