>Tommyinnit angst oneshots;tg&

I'm sorry..

TW//death, suicide, swearing, self degrading, suicidal thoughts, implications of no one caring about Tommy (I think that's it but idk)

Character's Included: Tommyinnit, Tubbo, (Mentions of) Wilbur, Sam, Technoblade, Philza, Dream

3rd Person POV

Tommy was sat in his room, curling in on himself crying violently. His head replayed each and every mistake that he had made like a movie film. Ticking constantly through his mistakes. Until finally, it landed on Tubbo's memories. His biggest mistakes. His biggest mistake was accepting his friendship. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have made Tubbo suffer. But he did, and it was all his fault. That reminded him of Sam. 

God.. I've so many fucking mistakes, my mistakes remind me of others?! Tommy thought, clutching his hair in his hands, pulling it enough where it hurt but not enough where it was unbearable. 

And I've never apologized?? Damnit.. my ego needs a reality check. I should just die.. He thought, while getting up and quickly grabbing a pen and a lot of blank paper. 

Tommy's POV

I grabbed a black ball pen, and some blank paper from my desk drawers, then set them all on top of the wooden desk. I switched on the lamp, then started writing, not in a rush, obviously. Just.. another suicide note, but this time.. this time I'll make it real. Not only would I write a final suicide note, but I will write meticulous apologies for each and ever smp member that I've disrupted in some way. 

After I was done scribbling down my apologies and folding them into a personalized envelope, I got dressed. Then, I applied make-up over my tear stained cheeks and puffy eyelids to make it look like my stupid idiotic self. I practiced my signature smile in the mirror and when I was satisfied, I opened my bedroom door and exited my house. First, I went to Techno's and Phil's. I carefully hung a green one with gray wings, and pink envelope designed with a pig nose on it,  on their door and scribbled my name onto them. 

I walked to L'manburg too. I hung notes for Wilbur, Tubbo, Sam.. everyone, not only in that city of course. When I was done, I went to the huge nether portal, and hung Dream's apology note on the obsidian, a neon green note with a black smiley face on it. Then, I walked on the path over the lava. 

My exile's path. 

I took out my suicide note, a red envelope with mellohi and cat's discs printed on it. I slowly untied Tubbo and I's bandanna, mine was red, and placed it next to my envelope. Then, I backed out near the lava. And let myself fall into the pit of the welcoming flames of fire and death. 

"I'm truly.. sorry, not only for my mistakes, but for my existence here." And then I was swallowed whole by the lava. 

Server: Tommyinnit tried to swim in lava. 

Server: Last words: "I'm truly.. sorry, for not only my mistakes, but for my existence here."

Server: Last canon life used.  

Tubbo's POV

I walked out my door to the sound of a knock. I opened it, and no one was there. 

Strange.

I walked outside and looked at the door suspiciously. 

Oh! A note, aww it has a bee on it, and.. and Tommy's name. 

I tore the letter down and entered through my door again, then I slid down my door and opened the letter slowly. I slipped out the sheet of paper and read. 

Dear Tubbo,

I'm so sorry.. for hurting you.. for fighting with you.. for being you friend.. for disobeying you.. for making you feel unloved.. for making you feel like I wasn't your friend.. for everything. 

I'm truly sorry for existing in your world, so to make up for it, I'll kill myself. For you. For Manburg. For everyone. Don't worry, you won't have to see me anymore, you'll finally be happy, knowing I'm not there to ruin it! And so you can see my dead body in glee, I will kill myself in the nether. On exile's path. For you. Leave me to die, and please.. do anything but follow in my footsteps. I'm truly sorry for making you regret meeting me, and being friends with me. 

:)

-Tommy

W-what..? Wait! No! I need to go to the nether.. now. 

I rushed outside into the nether, onto exile's path. I didn't see Tommy. In fact, I saw a small bit of things on the path. I rushed over. 

That's.. That's our bandanna! 

"No.." I looked over the edge, and saw smoke flare up from the lava below, and then a message appeared on screen. 

Server: Tommyinnit tried to swim in lava. 

"NO!" I shouted feeling tears rush down my face like miniature rivers. 

Server: Last words: "I'm truly.. sorry, for not only my mistakes, but for my existence here."

"No.. no.. no, no, no.. this isn't happening! I'm dreaming, I'll wake up any second now.." I assured myself, falling back onto the path, feeling my eyes gush out more water. As if I had more water in my system. I pinched myself, it hurt and I didn't wake up.

Server: Last canon life used.  

"TOMMY!!" I called over the edge, hoping for him to fly out of there with levitation and fire resistance and assure me it was all fake. "C-come.. come back.. please.." I pleaded, reaching my hand out over the edge, just hoping he was invisible and he would grab my hand. 

He didn't.

And somehow, I cried harder. 

"Thi-This is all my f-fault!!" I cried, taking off my own bandanna and nearly jumping off the ledge myself. But I stopped myself. "I.. I can't do that.. he asked me not to..." 

"..wh-why am I the only one here..? If he gave me a letter of a-apologies.. then he must've given them to everyone else too.. right?" I questioned when I had success in calming the rest of my tears. I crawled over to mine and Tommy's bandanna. I tied my bandanna around my neck, and kept Tommy's. 

This is wrong. I have an idea. 

I stood up, and tore off my bandanna, and wrote onto it 'may you rest with a piece of me, Tommy' with a spare pen, making sure to use only smaller words so I wouldn't misspell. Then, I tied Tommy's bandanna around my neck and walked over to the edge. Then, I chucked my bandanna into the lava. 

"..Now.. you may rest in peace.. I am sorry for all the suffering you lasted through.. Tommy." I spoke slowly and carefully. Almost as to not anger Tommy's spirit any more than it already has been. "I wish I could rest with you.. but I will follow with your plead." I finished, kneeling over the edge. I stood up and looked at the last note, marked 'SUICIDE NOTE' in tommy's handwriting.

"Damnit Tommy, you stupid bitch.." 

"..I never regretted our friendship.." 

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