>Tommyinnit angst oneshots;tg&

I can't.

TW// trauma, fainting, memory loss, going emotionless

Character's Included: Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Puffy. (mention of, Jschlatt, Wilbur, Dream, Technoblade, Nihachu, and JackManifold) (And kind of a mention of Ghostbur, but not directly.) 

Tommy's POV

Chop!

Chop!

Chop!

I hummed along to a beat whilst gathering wood for Tubbo. After gathering 8 stacks of oak, I stopped chopping. 

This must be enough.. I think. 

I started finding my way out of the woods, when everything suddenly went darker. 

Is it getting night? No, it's only like.. 6:30 pm. 

Then, the world went black, and I stopped walking. 

What in fuck's name is going on?!

"Is to REVOKE! The citizenship of Wilbur Soot, and Tommyinnit!!" Jschlatt boomed, his words ricocheted through my head like a bullet. 

No, no no Jschlatt died of a heart attack, he's not here.. calm down.

"Tommy, let's be the bad guys!" Wilbur chanted, his voice all too familiar and all too painful to hear. 

No.. no Wilbur.. no he's.. he's not here anymore.. you're fine. Im fine. 

"Dream, please detain and escort Tommy out of my country," Tubbo coldly ordered, his voice full of that hurtful venom that I knew all too well. I covered my ears but the painful words seemed to wriggle right though my blocking and straight into my brain. 

"Drop your things in the hole Tommy," Dream commanded, and although I knew he wasn't my friend and instead was manipulating me into doing whatever he wanted like a fucking puppet, I'm not going to lie.. I was tempted to empty out my bags into lava right then and there. But I held my guts, and didn't. 

"I am a person! Discs aren't people!" Technoblade shouted, eyes of tears and voice full of pain. 

"I-I'm so sorry Techno!!" I cried, desperately trying to keep the burning tears away, but nevertheless the flood gates open and I cried so much I feared a may go dehydrated. 

"Tommy.. has to go." Bad conceded, his voice full of that awful, painful determination that made my heart ache in apology for being such a stupid kid. 

"Oh my god, he was so annoying!" Nihachu gossiped to Jack about everything and anything but this one hurt like 10 anvils being dropped on me at once. Then, the world faded back into reality, but I was too occupied to notice the bright shine of sunlight's rays getting darker and darker, until finally the dead of night layered the clouds like a cold blanket. I put my head in my hands and tried to get up, but toppled over on my side and a sharp pain ricocheted through my head to the tips of my toes and I felt the warmth leave my skin, and there I was, out to die, in the middle of the woods. 

The voices blurred together, mixed and sloshed around my brain like muddy water trying to separate the dirt and the water. A deeper, more painful voice spoke, 

"Heyy! I got one of those too! Bedrock bross! Bedrock brooos!" 

It felt nice to hear a voice but something hurt hearing it. I felt such pain hearing the voice, and I had no clue why. I followed a thin trail of warmth to the next memory. 

"You and me, versus dream."

I recognized that voice, too much and too little all at the same time. 

"I wanna see WHITE FLAGS! WHITE FLAGS, OUTSIDE YOUR BASE, BY TOMORROW, AT DAWN, OR YOU ARE DEAD!" 

Why was that voice so painful? I mean sure.. it was quite harsh.. but it didn't hurt because of the harshness lining the sentence. It hurt.. because I knew what it was. I knew what it meant. But I couldn't quite grasp it. Then, another scene started playing. 

"Eret, listen to me, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. You fucked up."

Oh! It's the same voice from before.. It seems so familiar and I don't know why.. who.. who am I again? 

"Tommy, I.. I want you to do whatever your heart says you should do." 

Tommy. I'm Tommy. Right. That's.. and that's Wilbur! Didn't he.. didn't he die? And the first voice.. that was Technoblade.. but I betrayed him.. No, I did what I needed to, and Techno must think that I betrayed him. Yes that's it, and the second one.. was me! To Tubbo, my best friend! I remember! The third one.. oh. That was Dream. That was him declaring war on L'manburg, or as he called it, L'manchildburg. The fourth one.. oh! That was me! I seemed quite mad lol. And the fifth one.. that was Wilbur. He was so nice before he broke through the walls of insanity.. 

Then, before I knew it, I felt light seethe through my eyelids and scorch my cornea. I was in a room, I think it was my house, yeah it was my house. 

"Wh-what happened?" I asked, yesterday's memories slowly starting to wash into my head like an ocean. 

"You're awake!!" A voice declared, voice laced with excitement and care. Puffy. Their name is Puffy. 

-time skip to about a month after that- 

I started to feel odd. Like, I couldn't feel anything. I can't remember the last time I felt true happiness.  I can't feel anything else around me, it just felt numb. I was walking on the prime path with a Jschlatt hoodie on when Tubbo appeared next to me. 

"Hi Tommy!" Tubbo exclaimed, seemingly overjoyed with something. God, I'm jealous..

"Hi Tubs," I replied, shaking the hood off my head and plastering on such a fake but convincing smile barbie would be proud.  "What's gotcha so... excited?" I asked, pausing a beat before saying the last word. Tubbo just continued on with the conversation like nothing happened, and thank goodness for that. So, I just continued with the conversation, and as per usual, I felt nothing throughout the conversation. No happiness. No fear. No sadness. No sorrow. No excitement. No anger. Nothing. Half-way through I could tell Tubbo was getting suspicious. But I didn't care. For some reason, so I just continued being me, or whatever this was. 

"Tommy.. how are you feeling?' 

And without thinking, I blurted out, "I can't." Except after saying that, I didn't feel guilt. I didn't feel panicked. I just felt.. numb. 

"What do you mean, 'I can't'?" Tubbo asked, and using my new-found knowledge that I could tell anybody anything without feeling anything, I spoke again. 

"I mean.. I can't feel." 

"..What?" 

A/N Tommy didn't go emotionless from brain damage btw, just from the emotional trauma mixed with pain kinda flicked a switch in a way. 

1103 words / Not grammar checked