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"Mama!" I yelled when I opened the front door.

My voice carried throughout the house as I entered, "I'm home!"

I walked through the kitchen and checked the oven. That's weird. It's empty, "mama! Where's the foo-"

"She's not here." I jumped so quick and so high that my head touched the ceiling and my ankle hurt when I get down. The left one, it's always the damn left one.

He just sounded so calm and so quiet. He also made no sound coming right up behind me. He had a serious face on. I don't know why instant shivers went down my spine once that last fact set in.

My stomach knotted up painfully with anxiety, I didn't understand where it all came from. He just set me on edge all the time,"Gabriel."

Then he slapped me. I hit the ground like bricks and the shock of it made it so that my brain didn't register the action until the sting set it. I held the assaulted Cheek.

He kneeled down close and I backed up. I stopped when I saw this look in his eye. He looked at me like the action was the easiest thing  I could do to piss him off.

"It isn't becoming of a lady to raise her voice."

And he said it with such seriousness that I looked at him spelling out heavy hatred and questions with my eyes. I felt insulted and fucking attacked.

He reached out to towards me and I wanted to move away but he had this look on his face. Almost daring? Like he didn't really want to be near me he just wanted me to flinch or move. To do it and see what would happen.

He looked excited.

I kept still and he moved my hand from my face and stroked the cheek it had held. He inspected it with curiousity. Stroking it lightly, the sting made me want to cry.

"You're bleeding," he says still calm as though the situation were as normal as making me breakfast or reading my books.

"Come on, let's get you fixed up."

He gets up and helps me up too using my hands which have now begun to shake.

I followed him to the bathroom.

I let him keep my hand in his. He led the way with me numbly trailing. The situation didn't seem real and yet one blaring thought kept repeating over and over in my head and I had no idea why.

I just kept thinking, "I knew it."

We got to the bathroom and my mind would scream it to me. He set on the toilet seat, "I knew it."

He put cotton swabs and alcohol just under my cheek, "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it."

And when he was done he bent before me and smiled, he took a deep breath and he touched the skin on my arm, "I'm not sorry that I hit you Orian because I did it with good reason but I am sorry I hurt you."

"You're insane."

We watched each other for a bit in silence before I nodded slightly and, "you're insane and I don't want anything to do with you."

I moved his hand off my arm, "do you understand that you just slapped me? Do you hear yourself right now?"

He watched me in silence, no evident emotion on his face. His whole demeanor made my skin crawl. I wanted to get away from him.

He was frightening me by just looking at me. Just by being this calm because I couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling.

"You hit me because... You think you have a say in anything that I do. I'm not anywhere near something you can control and you need to get help."

He just continued to look at me. I couldn't help that as much as I wanted to move from him,I was too afraid to actually do it.

My mom wasn't home and there would be no one in the house if he decided to murder me or something.

Then he stood up straight out of no where and turned to leave. I held my breath unsure what he'd do next. He simply said, "tell your mom about this."

Than he left.




















It was late and I was waiting for her when I finally heard the front door open and shut downstairs. The hours nursing a swollen face made me venomous.

With every step I took to my mother's room I could feel myself freezing my heart over. Blaming her for more and more as I stormed over.

I didn't bother to knock, I just shoved the door out of my way. She jumped up in fright.

I disregarded the movement.

"No! Please please don't hurt me! I swear I won't tell anyone." I had never heard her sound so scared. I froze and felt impossibly more cold, "mom?"

She sat in the middle of the bed folded into herself as if to shield herself from attack. Her head came up though, when she heard me.

I wish it hadn't because our eyes locked and I saw the instance something small and precious broke in her.

It terrified me. She drew in a shuddering breath before tears quickly ran down her cheeks. Her Shakey hand came up to her mouth and silenced the sound of her crying.

Numbly, I came to her and held her. Her shaking was strong enough to reach and shake me too.

I didn't know what to say or do. I felt so useless and so so scared. And I just held her because it was breaking me to see her like this.

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