A Wanted Submissive

8

"hunny wake up." My mother as shook me lightly. I slowly creaked my eyes open and.... Shit I was tired.

I don't remember falling asleep but I hadn't for a moment forgotten what happened last night.

The feelings of fear and sadness didn't go with the sleep. I sat up, "you're gonna be late for school."

I don't know why it did but the fact that she said that made me really upset. I turned to her. Anger and hurt settled on my features, "you can't see but my face hurts from your husband's son laying his hands on me. He asked me to give a heads up.

Are you going to do anything about it?"

I looked at her waiting but she didn't say anything. That was answer enough, "if you were home and he knew you were, would he have had the nerve to try it again?"

Again the silence was all I needed by way of an answer. But more anger flooded my system when guilt met the silence on her features.

I got off the bed, suddenly making her feel less alone was the last thing I cared about. Maybe because her guilt was all she could offer me.

I could only bare to look at her for a second longer, "so excuse me if I don't give a fuck about school at the moment."

I slammed the door on my way out. I hated being angry at her. I hated everything I was feeling but that couldn't make me feel it less.

I got to my room and burried myself in my covers. I didn't even care that my hair would get back at me for doing this.
Or that I was fully dressed or how worried Stephie would be if I didn't come to school.

I just burried myself. One or two hot tears slid from my face and I released an exhausted sigh. Then everything faded in sleep.

The warmth of fingers on my face did more than just wake me up. It was comforting, It made made the blankets around my shoulders warmer and I clutched them tighter.  I didn't realise how much I needed comfort until I got to taste it.

"Why didn't you go to school?"

I shot up at the sound of Gabriel's voice. I thought ever having to be close to him would piss me off and scare me. Honestly I thought I'd hate him. But what scared me is realising that I had been waiting to hear his voice because… because I missed hearing it.

It scared me that with the shock of him not being my mom as I thought he was, came excitement. I was so scared and impossibly more sad. I didn't even have the decency to lie myself.

"Don't insult my intelligence by looking for excuses. If you're gonna hit me, than hit me. No one will lift a finger to stop you."

In all honesty I felt overwhelmed by the emotions he inspired me. And above all I felt he was breaking me with the strongest one of all.

Stronger than the fear, the sadness and the curiosity. He made me feel like no one cared about me. Not enough to save me. Not enough to take away the suffering.

"I don't know what you want from me Gabriel but don't you dare make me blame myself for whatever shit you put me through. Just do it and get done with it."

He looked at me for a long time. It gave me time to calm down and realise his face wasn't empty and frozen like it is when he really scares me. His eyes traced the lines of my face over and over until he kicked off his shoes and slowly crawled onto my bed.

I could tell he thought I was going to lash out and try something. But I needed him more than he knew. Its only fair that he fix the cracks he'd put on my mental.

When he got close enough I turned on my side with my back to him and burried myself again. Excitement rose in me and I held it close to me. Every other emotion in me hurt enough that I was more than ready to ignore them.

Gabriel's arm snaked around my waste and he pulled me to him so that I was flush against him, "I really am sorry that I had to hurt you."

"you know I hate you?"

I turned to face him. The comfort of his arms less like a cage and more like a cacoon. The thought made me realise how dangerous the mind could be.

I knew exactly what he was and how dangerous he could be but I needed the comfort so badly that I let myself focus on any part of him that could give that to me dispite what I knew.

"I hate you for taking away what little security I had left and reminding me," I stopped for a second and let the pain linger before the closeness of him dulled it, "how much I miss my dad."

I put my hand on his warm chest and burried my head into his neck. His fingers went back to stroking the skin of my face and butterflies erupted in my chest.

"As long as you know to whom you belong, you can hate me as much as you need." his voice vibrated through me.

It made me move closer to him and cling to the fear he wove around us because it's flavour helped me carry him with me into my dreams.