𝐵𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐲 𝐎𝐧𝐞 - 𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑜𝑛.

A song to listen to for this chapter: CLOVES- Don't forget about me.

Emily's POV

Looking out the window, a sign on the side of the road reads 'speed limit 25' I think it should be much higher, but I suppose residence of the road want to get out of their driveways without being smashed into by a speeding car.

I look down at our intertwined hands and smile. His firm big hand is wrapped around my covering most of my hand as if he doesn't want to ever let go. Directing my gaze from our hands I look over at his other hand which is tightly placed on the stirring wheel showing his busted knuckles. That's when I realized. It will be always be this.

One hand trying to hold onto me while the other is driving us away from the danger of my father. We will always be trying to hold on.

One of us has to let go.

A pattering sound echoed through the car as the fine drops of rain poured equally down the window. We come to a halt at a red light and I feel his thumb stroke over my hand comforting me as I watch yet another single drop of rain fall its way down the window.

The light flashes from red to green and we move again and I go back to looking out the window at the cold wet city. As my eyes wander, so does my mind.

My dad knows and by how he reacted I don't think he would hesitate to kill Jax.

"What are you thinking about in that beautiful head of yours?" he suddenly asks.

"you" is all I say and I see him raise his eyebrows, surprised and I go back to looking out the window. His grip on my hand tightens and I feel his thumb stroke gently over my hand and I look back over at him.

"Em it will be okay" he tries to reassure me but I can't , I can't sit here and look at him knowing it won't be okay. My father nearly killed him and how he won't ever stop trying to tear us apart. It's not just my father rules he's gone against, It's the mafia.

Jaxon's POV

Why? why now? I had just signed myself over to the mafia but until the next three months have passed Emily is still his. He can make her marry whoever he wishes. It's never been about the money it's always about the armies and allies.

He wouldn't care if he only got a penny for her being married off as long as he had grew his precious mafia.

We had been driving for a while now and she hadn't really said a lot. Which definitely wasn't a good thing. When she said She was thinking about me I knew what that meant. she was thinking how we were going to stay together. She doesn't know I've singed the contract she doesn't know that soon I will be the mafia. But I think even if she did know she would still want us to run.

I had drove us to the one place I know we would be okay for a couple days. I just needed time. Time to think about what to do.

"Are you sure they won't look for us here?" em asks me as she looks out the window at the cabin as we come to a stop.

"I'm sure"

She opens the door and gets out ,slamming the door behind her. She's upset.

I get out and walk around and up to the door where she's stood. she doesn't look in my direction she doesn't even acknowledge my presence. I unlock the door and turn to her but before i can say anything she brushes past me straight inside.

"em"

"don't" she snaps and I walk over to her just for her to move away.

"It's okay"

"No it's not okay. none of this is okay!" she shouts as she finally looks at me. I didn't have to say anything I could tell just by how we were looking at each other that it wasn't okay.

"Listen to me , it will be okay" I say not taking my eyes from hers.

Those pale yet piercing blue sparkling eyes. I don't want to see pain in them anymore. Not another day or second.

She walks over to me in a furious tone and for a second I think she might hit me or scream but her hand comes down to my side and she in the most gentlest way takes my hand in hers and strokes her thumb over the wounds on my knuckles. It will be okay.

she turns around pulling me with her.

We walk into the bathroom and she guides me to sit down without saying a word. I look down at the ground as the calming sound of the tap running fills the room. She moves to stand between my legs and I raise my head to meet her eyes again and she slowly places a damp cloth on my hand.

Her eyes stay fixated on my hand and I watch as pain flashes across her face the more she cleans the wounds. she suddenly drops to her knees in front of me and my heart shatters as the most hurtful cry escapes her.

I move onto the ground with her trying to hold her as tight as I can to make her stop.

"shhhh please em... please" I beg and she inhales just to cry out again.

why her? she doesn't deserve any of it. I wish I could take it all away, every ounce of pain.

I don't know when it started or at what point I had gave in. But even I was now crying. Not because I was hurting but because she was.

I rocked her back and forth in my arms letting the tears drain from my eyes. Not talking just holding each other together.

"Promise me" she cries and I frown in confusion as to what she's asking me.

"promise me it will be okay" she adds through her cries.

I kiss the top of her head lightly but enough for her to feel it. I squeeze my eyes closed to try and stop the tears from falling. No more tears. No more pain.

Emily's POV

The cold damp cloth sat in my hand as I looked down at his wounded hand. It was then I thought, how many times?

How many times will I have to see him hurt. This time it's cuts on his hand next it could be bullet wound in his chest or stab wound in his neck. Or dead.

But without him.

Without him I see nothing and it scares me.

I fall to my knees as everything inside me hurts. I feel the pain erupt out of me like its been building up this entire time.

"shhhh please em...please" His voice echoes in my head over and over. It hurts to see us like this, So distant yet close.

It was a piercing pain that had hit me and it hurt more then anything. It was worse then every moment with Mikhail worse then me having to leave my gran all of it. The torture the loneliness this was worse. Thinking about us being broken like this forever.

"promise me" I beg, holding on to him tightly.

"promise me it will be okay"

I feel a light pressure on my head as he kisses me and my eyes close in exhaustion.

Finally letting go of the pain.

Jaxon's POV

I don't know when she stopped crying I just felt her go limp in my arms and I knew she was asleep. She cried her pain away until she couldn't anymore but when she wakes in the morning it will all come crashing back and I can't even do anything.

We sat on the cold bathroom floor tangled together in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and I didn't want or need anything else.

That is when I realized. I don't need the mafia.

I need Em.

"I promise" I whisper into the room meaning every word. I promise from now on it will be okay. More then okay. That there won't be another day where we are not okay. We will be more than this.