Sugar Daddy

Coward

"Right... So, if I asked u to leave Oliver and come with me, would u do it?" he asks catching me by surprise

"What?"

"If I asked u to leave Oliver and come with me, would u do it?" he repeats the question slowly

"Are u asking me?"

"No, I'm just saying...Hypothetically!"

"Hypothetically, I'd have to think of a lot of things before replying..."

"So, it is an option! U wouldn't just say no!"

"Well, I always think things through before saying yes or no!"

"Sure, but when something is so off that u're not even considering it, then u have nothing to think about; U just say no! So, if u have to think about it, it means u're actually considering it!"

"Fine, yeah, I'm considering it! I have thought about us being together!"

"So, what would u think about? What criteria would u use to choose?"

"Criteria, ooh! So funcy!" I say mockingly to avoid answering

"Felicity..." he says, catching my bluff

"Ugh! Fine! I would think about who would make me happier in the long run, who would give me room to grow, who I trust more, who would be good for my mental health... Stuff like that!"

"Ok, so, do it now!"

"Do what?"

"Don't play dumb! Think about it now!"

"I thought u were asking hypothetically..." I say ironically

"Jesus, is anything easy with u?"

"I think u know the answer by now..."

"I do, yeah..."

"So,are u asking me or not?"

"I am! OK? I'm officially asking u to leave Oliver for me!"

"Oh my God, u're actually asking me!"

"I am! So, think!"

"I can't like that! I need time and space... It's not that easy!"

"Ok, I'm sure your subconscious knows the answer, so here's what we're doing; close your eyes and I'm going to ask u questions, u'll answer the first thing that comes to your mind!"

"Sure, ok..." I say closing my eyes

"Ok, so, I'll start with irrelevant questions to get u warmed up!"

"Cool..."

"White or milk chocolate?"

"White!"

"Pasta or pizza?"

"Pasta!"

"Waffles or Pancakes?"

"Pancakes!"

"Who do u love, me or Oliver?"

"Both!" I say and I immediately open my eyes wide

"Don't get all crazy now, I'm sure worse things will come up! Close your eyes!" he says and I close them again without saying anything

"Who's sexier, Oliver or me?"

"U!"

"Do u see a future with Oliver?"

"Yes!"

"Do u see a future with me?"

"No!" I say and I press my lips together when I hear what I said

"Do u trust Oliver?"

"Yes!"

"Do u trust me?"

"Hell no!" I say and I open my eyes wide again, putting my hands on my mouth, turning to look at him

"U don't?" he asks confused

"Well, I trust u in a way that I don't feel like u would hurt me physically, but I don't trust u as a partner... I mean, I can't see u as the type of guy who would be fully committed to one woman! And I need stability, I need someone who wants me and only me... "

"U don't know that! U don't have an example of me cheating in a relationship..."

"That's because u haven't been in a real relationship!"

"I've told u that I have! It just didn't work out, and it wasn't because I wasn't faithful! It was because it felt wrong!"

"Fine, let's say I trust u on being faithful, I still can't see a future with u! With Oliver, I can see us having kids, growing old together... With us, all I see is mind-blowing sex!"

"U can't possibly think that this is bad!"

"It's definitely not, but it's not enough! The sex will stop someday, and then we'll realize that the only thing keeping us together was that! And it'll be too late to start our lives again and we'll just be 2 miserable people that don't have anything to say..."

"U don't know that this will be the case! U haven't been with me for more than an hour, u don't know if I can keep a conversation going, u don't know my interests, we might have things in common besides sex!"

"All I heard was another reason not to be together! We don't even know each other besides that!"

"We have plenty of time to get to really know each other..."

"Well, I'm not gonna destroy something beautiful and sure, for just the possibility of us finding things in common..."

"Yes, but u said u loved me! Love and chemistry is all we need!"

"No, it's not! If we don't have things in common we'll just end up living separate lives..."

"All I'm hearing is excuses... It's like u're trying to find reasons not to be with me and not the opposite!"

"U know what? Maybe I am... And maybe it's because 3 minutes ago I told u that I love u and u haven't said it back!"

"Well, I'm not going to say it if it's going to be in vain..."

"In vain?" I ask jumping off the bed, looking at him angrily

"Yes, in vain! Because if I say it and then u decide that u don't want to be with me, I will have said it for nothing! I won't just give it to u for u to walk away after!"

"Are u really willing to lose me like that, instead of saying the one thing that might save u?"

"Yes! Because if it doesn't save me, it will break me..."

"Wow... So, I made a fool of myself twice already and u don't have the balls to say how u feel, in case it breaks the heart-shaped stone u have in your chest! U're willing to lose me, because u're afraid to admit that instead of being just a free spirit, that runs around throwing money on girls to have some fun, in reality, u just found your weakness... "I say putting my underwear and shirt back on

"I asked u to break off your engagement and come with me, I think that says it all!"

"No, it doesn't! Asking me that, might be because if I say yes it will boost your ego and u'll run around telling everyone how a girl left her fiancé for u! I'm not gonna be an ego-booster! I need to know that your feelings for me are pure and real!"

"U'll never know if u don't come with me! But u're too much of a coward to even try to see how things would be if u were mine! "

"Again, I came to u 2 times, told u how I feel, but u're not telling me how u feel because then it will be real and u're afraid getting hurt, so, tell me again, who's the coward?" I say and after giving him a last glare, with wet eyes, I leave his room