𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬 // 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 [𝟏]

Chapter 50

"I hold onto the pain
because it is all I have
left of you."

When they arrived at Irene's house, the older sister greeted them all with hugs. She was brought to tears when she saw Charles with Kira.

Thomas was still at school, so he would not get to see Charles until Summer, but Irene said she would write a letter as soon as she could to tell him the great news.

Irene left Charles to play chess with Robert and pulled Kira to the side.

"Kira, what happened? How did you get Charles?"

Kira sniffed. She stared at the floor, unable to look her in the eyes. There was a time Kira could tell Irene everything and she was torn between telling her the truth now or keeping her safer with less knowledge.

She looked Irene in the eyes. She knew then she would tell Irene everything. She would find no hatred or disgust beneath her sister's features.

So she did. She told Irene everything. About the prophecy. Her magic. How she traded her service for their lives.

Irene was distraught but she pulled Kira into a hug and let her cry into her shoulder.

"Shh, it's okay," she said, rubbing circles into Kira's back.

"Can you look after Charles? I don't think he's safe with me," Kira said, her words muffled as she had her face pressed into Irene's shoulder.

Irene hugged her tighter. "Of course I will. That's what big sisters are for."

After saying her goodbyes, she left. Kira did not want to leave but she could not manage a few more minutes pretending everything was okay.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. There was a hole inside of her now and she did not know how to fill it. She supposed there was already a hole, one Regulus used to fill. Now it was bigger, and it burned. It burned with the rage she felt for her father, the worry she felt for her family, and the sadness that had rooted itself deep inside her.

She could not go home. It was not safe there. So she went to the only other place she could think of going. A place no one would expect her to go.

She turned on her foot and apparated.

She stood in front of large white gates with a crest on them. A rose surrounded by a wreath of thorns.

Rose Manor stood behind the gates, past a vast garden filled with fountains and flowers alike.

She unlocked the gates and slipped through. She took her time walking towards the house. The gardens were overgrown from being unattended for so long. Perhaps she could get them fixed up. It was a good property that she did not think deserved to go to waste.

The memories that plagued Rose Manor did not have to take control. She could turn it into her own home. Perhaps it could go to one of her siblings, or there children when she died. They could create a warm home for the Rose family.

The door creaked open. Everything was covered in tarps and they were covered in dust. The whole house echoed as she walked through it.

She did not know where she was going until she stopped on the third floor in front of the second door to the right. It had not been opened in years.

Kira reached out her hand and grabbed the door handle. It was cold under her fingers. Did she really want to do this? She had come this far.

The doorknob turned and the door opened with a click. She pushed it open and stepped inside. The room was preserved by charms. It was the cleanest in the whole house. The one room not covered in tarps and clothes.

James Rose's bedroom. Her brother's room before he died. Her mother was too distraught to take out all of his things so they cluttered his desk and his shelves. All of his clothes were still in his cupboard and his books still in his bookshelf.

Her brother was 14 when he died. Instead of following in his older sister's footsteps, he chose to go to Beauxbatons Academy like their parents. She could see his scarf and coat hanging in the corner of his room.

He never got to graduate from school. Never got to find love, or get a job, or have kids. He was taken too soon, by his own father.

She still did not know why her father had killed him all those years ago. She supposed she did not care. He was crazy. He killed his wife and his son and had no problem threatening to kill his other children. Whatever reason her father had for killing James would never justify the act.

Kira did not realize she was crying until she reached up to scratch her cheek and her hand came away wet. It only made her cry harder. Her father had caused so much harm in her life. He had taken so many away from her and he felt no regret for it.

Kira forced herself to move further into the room. She sat on his bed and let her hands feel the covers. Her hand went to her face as she let out a sob.

She did not know how long it took for her to stop crying or when she decided to lie down, but she fell asleep on her brother's bed, thinking of the two people she loved most, the two people who were taken too soon.

Merlin, she missed Regulus. Her heart ached from him and she could not go an hour without being reminded of him.

Her morning coffee was full compared to when she shared it with Regulus. She would call him devil spawn whenever he made his peppermint tea and he would argue against it, saying her coffee was as bitter as her soul. They would laugh and joke until they both went off to work.

She missed those moments. She missed every single moment she spent with him. What hurt her most is she missed the moments that could have happened. Their wedding. Their first kid. Sending them off to Hogwarts. Waking up in the mornings, laughing because one of them stole all the blankets.

Those thoughts were the ones that hurt her the most. The would haves and the could haves. She wanted him back.

She promised to Sirius she would pull herself together but how could she? Regulus was gone and she did not know what to do. All her future plans were gone. She did not want to spend those moments with someone else and she did not want to spend them alone either.

She was at a loss.

Her mind strayed to the Dark Mark on her forearm. What would they think of her now? She was going to help Voldemort win the war for her own selfish wishes. She could not let the rest of her family die, she could not lose someone else. Her heart could not take it.

She would do everything she could to protect them.

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– walkingmasterpiece xx