Chapter 6

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Emma and Louis relaxed and watched some TV while the chef prepared them some dinner. They ate in silence, each busy with their own internal dialogue. Emma had never really minded before that Louis didn't talk to her about his history. She wasn't a part of his past and to her, in their life together it was almost like it had never happened. She was happy with what Louis could give her, happy with their quiet life in Doncaster. She had understood that he couldn't communicate his grief, that he had wounds that hadn't healed. Although she wanted to be the one to help him heal those wounds she knew that he had to be ready, and in his own time he would open up. But now that they were reliving his history, suddenly the stories she'd never been told; the history he'd never communicated, mattered. She felt worse than useless and berated herself for not doing enough to earn Louis' trust and help to rebuild him.

After they had finished eating they washed up their plates and looked at each other silently, a gulf widening between them that neither knew how to span. They were interrupted from their wordless conversation by Melanie and the wardrobe consultant from the previous day hauling in rails of clothing. Emma smiled warily at the consultant, not fully trusting her to have picked out a wardrobe Emma would like. The consultant greeted the couple brightly and shooed Emma upstairs to start trying on her selections.

Emma fell in love with her wardrobe the moment she started going through the collection. They had picked out clothes in muted colours, with lots of leather, lace, suede and silk. She tried on the first outfit, a pair of black skinny leather-look jeans with grey heels, a nude silk tank top, a grey waterfall blazer and a large nude leather bag. Looking at herself in the mirror she was impressed, she looked stylish yet edgy, like a model or a rock star on her day off. She tried on the rest of the outfits while the wardrobe consultant made notes on what needed to be altered or replaced if it didn't quite suit her. Emma was really pleased with her casual wardrobe, and happily tried on the formal and red carpet looks. There were some exquisite gowns, which weren't too fussy and although out of her comfort zone she had to admit they suited her. She would have to learn to walk in heels, but she thought that was a very small sacrifice to wear the beautiful clothes that were now hers.

While the consultant hung the clothes in the wardrobe and found places for the shoes and accessories, Emma went downstairs to show Louis one of her new outfits. She wobbled down the stairs slowly, trying to get used to the new distribution of her weight in the heels. She froze on instinct when she heard her name, low voices floating up from the kitchen. She heard Melanie say, "The PR team are concerned about Emma's capacity to cope with the media attention." Louis voice followed indignantly, "She is finding the training tough, but she'll be fine, she is strong." Melanie interrupted that she agreed with Louis, but the PR team thought her strength of character and will, when it comes to the press, would eventually erupt in scandal. She added with a softer voice, "The PR team are trying to protect you and the other boys. And while I really hate to have to say this to you - and I'm not sure I agree with them, I have to tell you that they have recommended that you take a break from your relationship with Emma while we are in the reunion process." Emma didn't hear the rest of the conversation, she rushed back upstairs with tears streaming down her face, pushing past the wardrobe lady and locking herself in the en-suite.

The consultant knocked and asked if she was okay, but after not getting a response she left to go downstairs. A few minutes later she heard Louis' voice outside the door, coaxing her to let him in. She sobbed for a few moments more, ignoring his gentle urges to unlock the door, until eventually she had calmed down enough to let him in. The minute the door was unlocked he swept in and cradled Emma in his arms. He crooned at her, "It's just us now, they've all gone, it's okay, it's okay." Emma wept on his shoulder clinging to him like he was a life raft and she was drowning. Louis stroked her hair and rubbed circles on her back, lovingly whispering endearments and waiting for her breathing to quieten.

Louis took Emma's face into his hands, rubbing away the tear tracks with his calloused thumbs. His eyes blazing blue and sincere, "I told them no, I wouldn't give you up. I told them that I believed in you, that I love you. I told them that we were a package deal." At that Emma cried more, she cried because she had doubted him, because she could never deserve him and because she knew the PR team were right. She didn't know how to be this Louis' girlfriend, she knew how to be her Louis' girlfriend. The Louis back in Doncaster, where Louis was just her Louis and not famous Louis, not 'One Direction Louis'. She didn't want to be famous, she didn't want to have to give pre-approved answers in press conferences, she didn't want to worry about being fat. She didn't want any of it. She just wanted to have things go back to the way they were before the phone call that had changed everything.

Her mind made up, she let go of Louis and moved away, telling him how she felt. She told him that she just wanted to go home, she wanted to take a break; that maybe when this whole crazy thing was over they could give it another go. Louis' eyes filled with tears and he pleaded with her not to leave him, and realising she wasn't going to change her mind told her that he was going home with her. At that she gasped, "No. You can't. You have to stay. You have to do this, your mum needs this, if you leave now you get nothing". Louis looked at her like a lost puppy, his heart filled with sadness as he pleaded, "I can't do this without you." Emma kissed his forehead and said firmly, "You can and you will. Please don't argue with me, my mind is made up."

Emma got up and started packing, her heart breaking while Louis sat on the floor of the bathroom and cried. She left the new clothes, having no use for them anymore and with a final glance back at Louis, she went downstairs and called for a car to drive her back to Doncaster.

Louis stayed on the floor of the bathroom all night, finally falling asleep at some time around five AM. He woke up the next day cold and cramped to see Melanie leaning over him. "Come on love, let's get you into bed." Too exhausted and emotionally drained to argue, he allowed her to help him up and move him to the bed. She tucked him in and he immediately fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

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