10 Years Later (Larry 1d)

Chapter 13

Louis woke up refreshed the next day, beating his alarm by ten minutes. He showered and dressed quickly, trying to distract himself from the butterflies in his stomach. He felt equal parts excited and terrified. Today was the day, today was what this was all about, today he'd be seeing all the lads, today they'd all be in the same room for the first time in ten years. Louis took a deep breath and tried to still his thoughts and quiet the chant of 'today, today, today, today, today' racing through his mind. He messaged Melanie and made himself a bowl of cereal as he waited for her to arrive with the car, absentmindedly spooning it into his mouth and swearing as he accidentally dribbled milk into his beard.

Melanie breezed in as he was washing his bowl, giving him a quick hug and asking how he was. Louis replied honestly that he was nervous but excited and Melanie nodded and patted him on the back reassuringly. Within a few minutes they were in the car and on the way to the studio. Some of the paparazzi followed the car, but there were only a few fans outside the studio this early which Louis was a little relieved about. Louis followed Melanie down a long hallway, passing dressing room doors with each of the other lads' names on until they reached one with Louis' name on.

Louis felt sick as the team worked around him, the reality of the situation suddenly hitting him like a punch to the stomach. The lads, Harry, were only thin walls away, no doubt at this moment having their make-up and hair done too. He felt a wave of nausea come over him and he rushed over to the nearest bin and threw up his breakfast. Melanie sympathetically handed him a bottle of water, while he heard the make-up artist groan, "Ugh gross, not you too! Harry threw up twice while I was in there". Louis let out a weak laugh at that, he knew it wasn't kind but there was a pretty large part of him that was glad Harry was suffering too.

Melanie handed him a pack of unopened cigarettes and a lighter, saying, "I got these for you, I had a sneaking suspicion you might need them". Louis smiled gratefully at her as he lit a cigarette, feeling himself calm as he started to inhale. He asked Melanie tentatively how this was going to work, who would be seeing who first. Melanie explained that it would be him and Harry first and then later once they'd cleared the air, the other three would come in together. Louis raised an eyebrow and said half-jokingly, "Is that wise, what if we start punching each other?" Melanie barked out a laugh and replied, "While we certainly wouldn't recommend it, I figured you've got to do what you've got to do. You've got a lot of shit to sort out together and it's better to get it over and done with than go forwards with it hanging over your head." She continued with a shrug, "You can always take a break or leave it for the day if it becomes too much. We've got some leeway with the editing window if we need to spread the reunion over a few days, so don't sweat it. Just do your best and remember why you're here."

Louis gave her a small smile, feeling slightly better, although still dreading facing Harry. One of the crew members gave him a toothbrush and some mouthwash and he gladly took it and washed the taste of vomit from his mouth. He settled back into the styling chair, drinking tea and chain smoking while the hairdresser and make-up artist did their thing. He forced himself to focus on his breathing, trying desperately to clear his mind and reach a state of calm.

Ten minutes later he was shown to the set, a large four walled room built in the middle of a studio. Once they were through the door he looked around, seeing that it was decorated like a living room with four large sofas around a huge coffee table. From the inside it looked almost exactly like a normal room, apart from there was no ceiling, just a light rigging with boom mics attached and then many metres above that, the studio roof. Louis could see small cameras in each corner of the room, confused he asked where the proper cameras were and Melanie explained the change in technology that meant they could get very high spec HD recordings from the small cameras. She pointed out a few more hidden around the room, in the bookcases and plants etc, and told Louis that these were the standard for filming many types of shows nowadays due to their discrete nature, enabling people to act much more naturally than if there was a film crew in front of them. The cameras were controlled from another room and could rotate and zoom and all sorts of things.

Louis nodded, somewhat relieved that there wouldn't be a whole film crew in front of him during what was likely to be one of the most awkward experiences of his life, but at the same time afraid of being alone with Harry. Melanie squeezed his hand and reassured him, "You can do this", before leaving the room leaving him on his own.

Louis perched tensely on the end of one of the sofa cushions, not quite daring to get comfortable. He played with his hair nervously, pulling it into a bun, before taking it out a few seconds later and shaking it out. After a few moments there was a light knock on the door, and it cracked open agonisingly slowly as Louis jumped to his feet, palms sweating and legs trembling. Time stood still as he stared at the door and Harry hesitantly walked through and closed it behind him.

They stared at each other, wide eyes locked in a gaze and speechless for at least a minute, the seconds dragging like hours. And, fuck, Louis had forgotten how green Harry's eyes were. Eventually Harry squeaked out, "Hi", his Adam's apple bobbing with tightly controlled emotion, Louis choked back, "Hi", feeling embarrassed about the wobble in his voice. Louis hadn't known before that moment that a voice could wobble and break in the course of such a short one syllable word, but apparently it could. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Hi", feeling very relieved when it came out slightly more normal sounding. Harry swallowed, Louis watching his Adam's apple dip up and down as he asked quietly, "May I sit down?"

Louis shrugged, but awkwardly sat down back on the edge of the cushion and watched as Harry did the same on another sofa. They sat in silence, as Louis thought about how uncomfortable this was. Over the years he'd imagined confronting Harry; dreamt about beating him into a bloody pulp more than once or twice.He'd spent hours working out what he'd say, the perfect scathing remarks to cut Harry to the bone, to wound Harry like he'd been wounded. Now that he was face to face with Harry none of those options seemed appealing anymore. Louis was broken out of his thoughts by Harry, who had always been so cool and unflappable, suddenly making a low keening noise and starting to talk, the words rushing out of him all at once and tripping over each other.

"I'm so sorry Louis, I know you can never forgive me, that I will never be able to properly explain myself. I can't thank you enough for seeing me, for giving me this opportunity. I want to make it up to you." Harry stopped as abruptly as he started, stood up and turned away from Louis. Louis stared at his back, Harry's hands clenched into fists at his sides, muscles tensed, and head bowed, curls falling into his face as he swore, "Fuck, this is all coming out wrong. I've rehearsed this in my head for ten years and now you're actually here in front of me, it all seems wrong."

Startled by Harry's confession and how similar it was to his own emotions, Louis let out a bitter laugh, causing Harry to spin round and stare at him in shock. Louis explained sardonically, "I dreamt of punching the shit out of you for ten years, and now you're actually here in front of me, it doesn't seem right anymore either." Harry gave him a small, wry smile and said, "That's a relief, though God knows I'd deserve it if you did." Louis smirked at Harry and warned, "Don't relax just yet, I may change my mind." Harry laughed quietly at that, "I'd let you".

Louis fell silent, looking away from Harry overwhelmed, before composing himself and glancing at Harry again, to see that he'd sat back down again on the sofa. Louis settled a little further into the couch, forcing himself to calm down and relax. He took a deep breath and asked the one question that had been haunting him for ten years; the question only Harry had the answer to; the question that meant everything to him "Why did you do it?"