Chapter 18: Where To Go From This Day Forth

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"Where do we go now?" I asked. Childe was blank for a moment, no answer seemed to come from him.

"I don't know." he said sharply, as the clutter of stones digging at my heart seemed to rouse some memories  from within.

Today too. I walked back to where Kazuha's house was, following him. I was just going to protect him. That was all. I smiled and hummed as I followed him. He entered his house, and I slipped in his lawn, climbing up a tree, waiting for him to appear at the window for breakfast.

He either had eggs or pancakes for breakfast. Yesterday he'd had eggs. Seemed it was the same today. I watched him eat, and a gnawing ache came in my heart as I was entranced by him. I loved him so much, he just didn't see it.

He came out onto the lawn with a cat in his hands, and put it down on the grass. His usual routine, sitting outside, enjoying the fresh air for some time, then heading back inside. I fumbled with the camera in my hands.

Click!

A perfect picture.

I stayed there all day, following Kazuha's movements around. I knew his schedules and routines, and what he did in his free time. See? He should love me.

||

I confessed to him but was met with a rejection.

"I'm sorry,  Lumine-san. I just don't see you that way." his words broke my heart as his voice entranced me once again.

This wasn't right. Kazuha was supposed to be mine. Only mine.

And on the way back home, I forgot. Kazuha was now mine. And now, he was with me.

||

"Lumine. I need you to do something for me. If you love me? Please?" Kazuha asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can you do something super bad to them? They hurt me-"

"Sure." I would kill them, for him.

And after killing them, I forgot.

||

"I need you to do a job." a man approached me. I stepped back cautiously. I didn't want to kill. Until Kazuha came up beside me.

"Do it. Kill them all. For me?" he asked.

"I'll do it." I turned to the man.

"Excellent."

||

Thoma stared with an amused expression as I drove a knife through Ayaka's heart, and she fell down with a thud as blood surrounded her in a pool.

"Nice one, partner."

"I did it only for Kazuha."

"Oh, I see." he chuckled.

And then, I forgot again.

||

Kazuha cheating on me? My blood boiled. I drove a knife through his skull, then killed the woman he was cheating on me with.

And then, I forgot. I was back to my perfect life with Kazuha.

"I'm pretty insane, huh?" I chuckled. Childe was surprised, but gave me a smile moments later.

"In a way, we all are." he replied.

"I imagined he was the one asking me to do the killing. I subconsciously imagined my desires and my perfect life, and-" I picked up a pebble in my hands. "it took on his form. I was reassuring myself I was okay. That I was the one being forced to kill. When in fact, I wanted to. And then I just forgot about it."

"Well, I'm not letting you do that anymore. We're running away." Childe grinned. I was confused.

"To where?"

"You'll see."

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