Prey

Chapter 53

Doe's POV:

The snowfall had died down to almost nothing by now, which made forcing myself to focus on it as a sad excuse of a distraction harder and harder.

My weight fell completely against the sidewall, a hand idly stirring the nearly empty jar with the metal straw.

The slices of strawberry, lemon, and cucumber fell over each other as I pushed them around.

Courtesy of the vampire himself.

I think he'd caught on that water was the only thing I would take, and started ordering it with these fruit infusions.

I guess to try to get anything into my body, no matter how small the actual nutrition value of it was.

And he stopped ordering it with ice.

The initial sight of it on the coffee table almost caused me to deny it.

As long as I didn't have to chew it, and the flavor of these fruits was just barely present, I would be able to keep it down.

I didn't have the energy to fight myself over a few slices of fruit.

It's not like I had to eat them anyway.

The stirring stopped, eyebrows furrowing with the realization that I needed to find something else to focus on.

As if doing so even worked to begin with.

Even through the distractions I convinced myself I was having, my brain wouldn't take a break from attempting to reason.

And in turn, came to a few conclusions that I'd never let settle in until today.

My eyes shut tight at the sudden pain in my head and deep rumbling in my ears.

I needed to feel something other than the aches all over the inside of my body.

I didn't care what it was.

When I could open my eyes again, they lifted up to the latch of the window.

Good enough.

It was easily accessible and didn't include me having to move from this spot.

Even if I didn't have the energy the warm myself back up, at least cold the against my skin will be a different sensation than the agony wracking through me.

Maybe if it gets bad enough, the external sensation will become more noticeable than the internal ones.

Lifting the hand closest to the glass I flipped the latch holding the two sides of the window together.

I scooted over to the other side to set the jar there, and pull just one side of the window open.

My legs fell off the edge, and into the outside after I resituated myself.

I welcomed the cold air with a deep inhale through my mouth, and the biting caress of it against my exposed skin.

The light wind sent my hair waving and caressing my cheeks

I let the blanket I had been wrapped up in fall in a pile behind me and stared out into what I could see of the land below.

Only for those thoughts determined to show themselves promptly returned.

I didn't try to fight it this time, just let it possess me in hopes that this diversion would work eventually.

Any fight I had left was extinguished.

I think I finally accepted the harsh conclusion that this life wasn't my own.

It never was, and the truth is that it was never meant to be.