An Eye for an Eye **LT**

Chapter 40

Cecilia's POV-

I know you know Louis' side of everything and I promise you're going to hear more, but just sit back and listen to what my life is like. I told you the present. You know my thoughts, you know both the second guessing and the guilt. But what you don't know is my full past.

I grew up in a toxic home. I started out being enrolled in a public school, but got bullied so bad my parents pulled me out. Doing school at home didn't work either. Both of my parents were into hard drugs and alcohol, so surprise surprise, I got beat a lot. But did I tell anyone? No. I'm a nice person most of the time, and I didn't want to throw people under the bus. Especially my parents. So I kept everything to myself.

After a couple years, I finally convinced my parents to let me go back to a public school. I missed the social life, even though there wasn't much of it since everyone either already had friends, or they were mean. So, yes, I entered back into the world of getting pushed around and having pencils stabbed into my sides like a fucking javelin. I couldn't decide which was worse-being abused at home or at school. It was a hard choice.

What comes after high school? College. I thought the bullying would chill out, but yet again I was completely mistaken. In fact, it only seemed to worsen, but instead of childish jokes, it was getting teased about my eyes or my home life outside of class. And when I did make "friends" it was always the cause of a dare.

I guess some people never grow up. But don't we all have childish sides to us? Some keep the good and some keep the bad.

Like I mentioned, I had met Jacob at school. He was pretty much the only person there that was nice to me. That's why I gravitated to him so easily. He was so easy to love because he accepted me for who I was. Or at least that's how it started, anyways... 

Flash forward to graduation and getting my first job. Do you realize how many people would look behind them because they thought I was looking at someone else due to my fucking lazy eye? That shit hurt. And all my co workers would give me next level shit for it, saying I wasn't good enough because I couldn't read the menu clearly. Which I could. I was cross eyed because I was half blind. My vision wasn't doubled, much to people's surprise.

So I made a decision-a decision to make myself comfortable. And the way to do that was to quit my job and let the one guy move in who didn't judge me. And that's where I was when Louis came into the scene. I was comfortable. 

It wasn't perfect by any means, don't get me wrong. Mistakes were made on both sides. Jacob gravitated toward border lining a terrible person and Louis just happened to meet me at the lowest point which I suppose was at my most vulnerable point. So was that the right time or the wrong time? 

Maybe I knew things were getting bad that first night at the club. Maybe I wanted Louis in my life. But was it to make Jacob jealous so he would change, or did I really love him? That was the billion dollar question I was trying to answer for myself.

Another week came and gone. I got off work, exhausted as all get out. I trudged into the apartment, running on pure adrenaline. My shoulders hung and my feet were dragging the floor. I'd been losing sleep over my thoughts and that on top of working wasn't good for me. Drained would be an understatement.

"Louis, I'm home" I yawned, setting my keys and bag on the counter.

Then I realized he was working the night shift, so he wouldn't be home for awhile.

I went straight to the couch and collapsed-letting my head fall to the arm rest. A long breath of air filtered through my lungs as I stared at the ceiling.