SAVED ☆ Bang Chan [COMPLETED]

19

I wake up on the chilled floor with a pounding headache, the wintry sunshine slipping through my dark curtains and making me wince. Stretching my arms with a yawn, I sit up, cursing myself for the thousandth time; this time for falling asleep on the floor at such an awkward angle. Cracking my neck to the side, I stand up and realise I’ve slept through the beginning of school, the time on my clock reading ten in the morning. I curse again, this time out loud.

Picking my phone up, I switch it on and am surprised to see seventeen missed calls from Chan, along with over a hundred messages from him and the group chat combined. I swipe to unlock and click on his contact number, finger hovering over the call button.

Just as I’m about to click the screen, my window rattles violently and makes me jump. I whip my head over to see a disheveled looking Chan balancing on my window ledge, a scrape on the side of his temple. He looks at me with relief through the glass as he catches sight of me, offering me a soft smile. I throw my phone onto the unmade bed and scramble to open the window, Chan falling onto the floor with a thud. I grimace, hoping my mother didn’t hear it.

“Chan? What - why are you here?” I ask, helping him to his feet. He shakes the dirt from his clothes and pats his hair down, unaware of the injury on his face.

“You didn’t answer my texts, or my calls, and you didn’t even turn up outside my house,” Chan gushes, suddenly pulling me into a tight hug. I blink in surprise but I hug him back, confused and happy to have him with me. “I was worried,” he says, squeezing me.

“I’m sorry Channie. I just … overslept,” I say truthfully, deciding the details from last night are unnecessary.

“I was thinking maybe you were in trouble. Or that you didn’t want to come camping,” Chan whines, his hands lingering on mine and his warmth seeping through my cold body in slow waves. His gaze wanders from my eyes for a moment and lands on the floor, picking out my tissues from last night. My eyes widen and l kick myself mentally, wishing I’d thrown them in the bin. He lets go of me and walks to the side of my bed, dropping to a crouch as he picks up one of the tissues, the maroon patches prominently staring back at him.

“Y/N … what’s this?” He asks quietly, looking straight at me. My mouth runs dry and I don’t answer, instead turning to look out of the window as I sit down on the edge of my bed.

His footsteps get louder as he approaches me, his hands turning my face to look at him. “Look at me. Did you do this last night?”

I hang my head, realising that he is actually sad. His eyes look as if he’s pained, and I hate that I’ve done that to him. Most of all, I hate that I can’t stop doing it.

Chan takes my silence as an answer and he lets out a huge sigh, hand rifling through his hair. “Sweetie, what happened?”

His soft voice makes tears well at my lashlines, my eyes prickling but I hold them back. Enough crying.

“I don’t want to be here, Chan. Honestly, I don’t want to live anymore,” I tell him calmly. Somewhere in the back of my cloudy mind I'm surprised that my own voice could sound so lifeless. Chan’s eyes widen. He kneels down infront of me, looking up at me with hurt in his eyes.

“No, Y/N - sweetie, please, please don’t say that,” Chan whispers, clutching at my hands. “You can get through this. I can help you,” he raises my hands to his face and kisses my fingertips, holding them in both of his hands.

I look down at him knelt infront of me on the floor, his eyes shining. What once would have been butterflies flapping around my stomach, is now a dead weight, sitting at the bottom of a lifeless pit. I feel nothing. Nothing at all.