SAVED ☆ Bang Chan [COMPLETED]

21

The oxygen from my lungs is suddenly knocked out of me and my throat burns in the cold night air as two strong arms wrap around my torso. They tug at me with such strength and force that I am pulled backwards. I tumble backwards onto the roof floor, the wind knocked out of me again as I am met by the sight of the dark sky once again.

With a raspy cry, I scramble back to the edge, trying to climb onto the wall again but the same arms appear around my waist again, holding me so tight that my ribcage starts to hurt and I cry, struggling from the grip. We both fall onto the floor, Chan’s body cushioning mine.

“No!” I scream, tears falling down my face again. Though whether it's from me unable to do what I wanted to do, or whether it's because someone has stopped me, I can't tell. “Let me go, let me go!”

The arms pull on me harder, my hands clawing uselessly at them, and I cry out, pain making my voice raw and ragged. I can't help but flinch at the sound.

“Don’t leave me, Y/N,” Chan says softly, sounding broken. His voice is a whisper but I hear each word as clearly as if he's shouted them, and I freeze in his grip. Tears trickle down his face and onto the back of my neck, his voice sounding desperate and completely filled with hurt. “Don’t go. Please, sweetie, don’t try to jump again.”

I cry even harder, struggling and finally pulling free from his arms. “What’s the point? I’m never going to mean anything here, I’ll never mean anything to anyone. My life is never going to change, the abuse is never going to stop, my depression, anxiety and hatred of myself is only going to get worse. I can't stay here knowing I fucked up your life too, and you regret having ever met me. I can’t stay here. I can’t do this anymore.”

Chan's eyes are so wounded and full of hurt that I feel bad for a moment, before realising he probably doesn’t care about me either. How could he? He’s someone so perfect and happy and an icon to look up to, and I’m ... nowhere near that.

Fresh tears roll down his cheeks as he stands up, the rain from above pounding down like thousands of bullets hammering onto him. He moves towards where I am stood, the rain rolling off of his leather jacket like his tears, his hair plastered to his forehead. He places his fingers lightly under my chin, lifting my face up to look at his.

His thumbs are warm as they caress my cheeks, and I don't even notice him leaning forward towards me.

Suddenly his lips are on mine, warm, soft and extremely shocking. My eyes widen as the rest of me freezes, his face the closest to me it could possibly get, his lashes fluttering across my cheeks as he caresses my lips with his own. Heat floods through my body, my head spinning as his lips send shockwaves down to the very tips of my toes. I can't even ignore the emotion he pours into the kiss, something I know words won't ever be able to explain.

It's when he opens his eyes again, I realise I've been crying with him.

Chan pulls back, leaving a centimetre of space inbetween our faces. I stare back at him, not quite comprehending what just happened.

“I care about you,” Chan says quietly, his lips red in the dark.

I raise my hand to my lips, not taking my eyes off of Chan’s face. My mouth is tingling, and my senses are suddenly heightened; I'm too hot, the sound of the city is too loud, my breathing is too rapid, the stars too bright. I swallow, feeling overwhelmed.

The sudden awakening of my emotions has left me completely dizzy.

“What ... ?” I manage, my voice slow and slurred as if I’m drunk.

“That was me showing you just how much you mean to me,” Chan whispers, his eyes searching mine. He looks down and takes my hands in his, his fingers fitting so perfectly between the gaps of mine. His thumbs sweep over the backs of my hands, and I notice that my hands aren't cold anymore. They're warm, and I can't bring myself  to pull away from him.

I am stunned. This boy, this beautiful boy that not even my wildest dreams could have conjured up, stepped into my life, just saved me from killing myself and then kissed me. This isn’t real.

It can't be. This is the stuff of fiction.

Not the life of an abusive drug addict's daughter.

“Why?” I ask. It seems all my other words have flown away from me in the wind.

Chan raises an eyebrow.

“Why what?”

I wave my hands around. “Why did you … do that?”

He offers me a small smile. “It’s like I said. You mean the world to me, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do if you left me.”

“But … why me?”

Chan sighs, standing up straight again. “I’m in love with you. I think ever since I helped you up in that class I felt a ... a connection? It’s weird, I know, but ...  but, I love you. I love you so much that sometimes when I’m finally tired enough to sleep at night, I can’t sleep because you’re on my mind. You're all that I can think about. I can’t stop worrying about you, wondering if you’re okay, wishing I was with you,’ he tells me, squeezing my hands. "Wishing that you're happy."

Biting my lip, I step forward and stand on my tiptoes and before I can talk myself out of it, I press my lips against his. This time he freezes, but he responds a second later  by moving his lips against mine, his hands clutched on my back, hugging me to him. I’ve always wanted to kiss him, and now that it’s happening it feels unreal, his gentleness making my knees buckle, his kisses speaking of hurt and hope. His tears mingle with mine as they spill endlessly from our eyes, the kiss soft but bittersweet, sadness overpowering the happiness.

***

We lay on the soaked roof, side by side, looking up at the now clear sky. The stars shimmer down at us, and emotion continues to flood through me, though not as crazy as it was before. I begin to feel my usual admiration for the sparkling gems in the sky again, and I can't help but grin up at the stars watching us.

Chan’s hand is laced through mine, his blonde hair spread out underneath him like a pillow, the rainwater making it float. He rubs his thumb over my knuckles, squeezing my hand every so often.

"I’m sorry,” I whisper, focusing on the stars. He turns his head to the side, taking in my face. “I’m sorry I’m not much.”

His hand comes up to caress my cheek, as gentle as a feather.

“You’re enough. Trust me,” Chan says. I turn my face to look at him, watching the lazy smile on his pretty face.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “Thank you for saving me. Even though I didn’t want to be saved, I’m glad you did.”

Chan's face suddenly adopts a serious expression. “Just promise me one thing. Tell me you won’t ever try to end your life again.”

I study his face, my mind still whirring from my attempt. My headache is increasing aswell as my drowsiness, and all I want is to go to sleep.

I smile.

“Okay. I promise.”