a new life || (bucky x reader)

twenty-seven

A/N - guys I'm the literal worst ik I'm so sorry for the longggg longg break
but I'm back!! thank you so so so much for 10K I don't deserve it haha you guys are the best <333

(yes I did have to go back and reread the last chapters to write this one but we're going to ignore that fact)

thanks to @Aaliyah389816 for requesting another chapter :)

warning: blood and grief

Third Person POV ~

The quinjet was silent, the usual banter between the Avengers gone. Nat stood at the stretcher Y/N laid on, pressing a white cloth to her abdomen, cursing as the blood quickly seeped through the thin fabric. She kept switching cloths, making sure to do everything she could to save her life. Y/N was close to her, and after time Nat had grown to care for her, just as she cared for Wanda. And the fact that it was Y/N slipping away before her very eyes after all she had gone through didn't sit right with Nat. 

Bruce continued to check Y/N's vitals, making sure she was still breathing. The unspoken worry of not getting back to the tower in time was putting everybody on edge, even Clint. They all sat in their seats silently, watching the others' desperate struggle to keep Y/N alive with solemn looks on their faces.

Bucky had the worst of it though. He stood by Y/N's bed, jaw and fists clenched. With every passing second, and every new white cloth, his heart sank deeper and deeper. It all felt surreal, every memory with her rushing back in a wave. He felt as if he was about to puke.

It had only been a few weeks since he had danced with her at Tony's party. He could still remember her laugh, and the way her hair bounced with her as she danced to the music. The perfect moment when the music had slowed and he brought her close to him. The way she rested her head gently against his shoulder, and her gentle touch as they swayed. The way they felt like the only two people in the entire world. He had smiled more that night than he had in his entire life. The way she kissed him, the way the moment they shared on the balcony stopped everything else around them. They were the only two that mattered.

And now here she was. Laying on a stretcher, paying the price for saving his very own life. And he was paying the price for falling in love. Not that he regretted falling in love with her, spending time with her. He was kicking himself for letting his guard down. For keeping something for himself, when he could have let it go, could have avoided this horrible feeling. For choosing to care about someone for once, after all these years.

Bucky clenched his hands tighter, a silent tear falling from his eye. He really did care about her. So much that he would pay the price of the universe if it meant guaranteeing her survival.

Steve walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. He never really talked to Y/N much, but he could see just how in love with her Bucky was. And how much it was breaking his best friend's heart to see her in this state.

"We're almost there, Buck. She's strong, she'll hold on until we get there," he tried to comfort him. Bucky swallowed, giving Steve a small nod and silently praying he was right.

After what felt like a decade and a half, they finally landed the quinjet back at the tower, and Steve and Tony lifted the stretcher as gently as they could, carrying Y/N quickly into the tower. Bucky was frozen in his place until Nat placed a hand on his shoulder.

"We're here now Bucky, she's going to be okay. Why don't you come inside?" She gestured to the other Avengers who had already left the jet.

Bucky nodded. "I'll come. Just give me a second."

Nat nodded with an understanding smile. "Take as long as you need."

As soon as she disappeared into the tower, Bucky broke. Heart-wrenching sobs left his body as he slid down the wall of the jet. It felt as if everything was crumbling down around him. He couldn't take the thought of Y/N dying constantly looming over her head. She occupied his every thought, and he didn't know how he'd survive if she were to die. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to control his uneven breathing and calm himself down enough before anyone saw. He quickly wiped his tears, collecting himself once more as he buried his head in his hands. 

~

Tony and Steve rushed Y/N into the tower, careful to not make any jolting movements that could cause the bleeding to speed up. Dr. Cho was waiting, immediately ordering the boys to place her on a gurney as she took Y/N into the medical wing.

The Avengers sat in the kitchen, silently cradling their tea Nat had made them all and waiting for any sort of news on Y/N. It had been about 3 hours since she had been taken into the medical wing, and they still hadn't heard anything. They didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

Bucky had entered the tower after a while, only to leave straight to his room. The other Avengers understood the extent of what he was going through, however, and let him be.

After a few hours longer, Dr. Cho finally entered the kitchen.

"I have news on Y/N."