Arcane [H.S AU]

FORTY SIX

Harrys POV

I woke to find the bed empty, I knew she wouldn't sleep, I fucked up. I destroyed her whole fucking life and did it without batting a fucking eyelid.

Now she can't even sleep next to me in her own bed, she hasn't said much to me, she did open up about her self harm which warmed my cold heart.

Other than that, she was quiet and listened to me. We had the odd conversation here and there but I think she's struggling to process what just happened.

This isn't her kind of life, have I dragged her into this without thinking this through, did I make a huge fucking mistake for her, am I being selfish?

All these questions run through my mind as I lay in this empty bed. I know she won't have gone far, probably on the sofa with Goose, I want to go and see but I don't want her to feel suffocated. So I lay here for a little bit longer, feeling the emptiness, knowing this is how I felt the whole time I didn't know where she was.

When I heard her voice from the phone call, the to cry to her was so fucking strong, I just wanted to break down tell her I love her and that I've missed her but I know she didnt have long and she was struggling as it is but I was just glad to hear her voice.

I sit on the edge of the bed, god why do I need to cry now. The thought that she's okay, she's alive. She may be injured but she's safe and I know where she is. I run my hands through my hair, I can feel the tears prick in my eyes.

"Fuck, pull it together Harry."

"Harry." The small voice calls from the doorway, I can't even look up at her, if I look at her I'll burst into tears just from looking at her. She walks over to me and kneels down to look at me, her sitting there in front of me, I close my eyes I can't.

"Please look at me, please." She rests her head on my thigh, rubbing her hand up my other leg, comforting me.

When I open my eyes, looking at her face the sobs fall from my body. I have no control over this, she cuddles me. Bringing me onto the floor with her, both of us on our knees and she sits on me, hugging me stroking my hair.

"It's okay baby, we're gonna be okay."

"I'm so sorry, I can't even look at myself Luna and you can't even sleep next to me."

"God Harry, no. I was watching you sleep and just needed a minute after everything, I don't blame you okay, none of this is your fault, if anything i'm alive because of you. You saved my fucking life Harry." she does love me, she doesn't blame me.

"So you don't blame me?"

"No, not in a million years. Harry you are my life okay, the love of my life, the man who makes me grateful to be alive, you've given me my great love." she grabs my face so that we are staring at each other.

"You've given me something that consumes my every thought, you are my happily ever after Harry, i've read all about love and how some people never find their soulmate, well i'm one of the lucky ones who found theirs, don't ever think I don't love you or that I blame you for anything, Harry I don't think i've loved anyone as hard as i love you."

"Baby, baby, baby. My one true love, no one compares to you in the slightest, you light up my darkest days, you are it for me truly, i've never felt this unconditional love before, everything with you is new, everything i've done and learnt over the time of knowing you has been so different from anything before, living with you, sharing secrets with you. Telling my friends about you, god everything i've done has been for you, you make my heart ache when i'm not around you, Luna I never want to be away from you, i've never felt like this, you and Goose gave me my own family, a home, a place where I feel safe and loved." I never get this sappy but she needs to know that I do have a heart.