Jensoo - How is this for us?

Decisions

Jisoo's POV

"Jisoo?"

"Jisoo.." I felt someone poking my cheek.

I hardly opened my eyes because of the stray of sunlight illuminating the car window and found Irene was looking at me with a sad smile on her face.

"You fell asleep while sobbing. Come on, let's get inside." She explained as if sensing the confusion on my face.

"How long have I been sleeping?" She looked at the time on her phone and said "About an hour since we've arrived."

"What?! You didn't even wake me up! Irene unnie!" I exclaimed at her in disbelief but she just laughed at me. "You're too tired. And you looks like you need some sleep and I did enjoyed sitting in your car. And carrying you would be too much for me alone since those idiots going out for groceries shopping." She said with jokingly to me. I chuckled a bit at her dry humor. She opened the door for me and bringing me inside the house.

"Nothing have changed here. We used to spend our free time here since we're young." She said remembering the old times. "We're still young, you're the one that getting old." I said dryly to her. "With the power of being older, bring me some water please? Do you have soju? I think I wanna drink." She said and sat on the sofa at the living room.

"Soju? Wasn't it too early? It's only 3 in the evening unnie." I said to her. "Why are you complaining about day drinking? Should I drink alone then? With you only looking at my beautiful face?" I just sighed and get our drinks. She sipped the soju with a sad smile and said "It tasted bitter today isn't it?' She looked at me, I couldn't bring myself to raise my glass and looking down at my feet. I am a mess.

My phone rang and it's Seulgi. I don't know why but looking at my phone right now make me feel bad. I just picked up the phone because the ringtone was mine and Jennie's favorite song. I mean, the universe didn't need to slap me like that isn't it?

Seulgi: Yahhh!!! Why didn't you pick the phone and reply to my texts? I've been reaching you for hours. Are you okay? Have you... seen the news?

She asked continuously not minding me just being silent. I can't help but to smile at her reaction. Well she did care about me.

Jisoo: I am okay. I'm with Irene unnie now. She demanded me to have a drink with her. As you can see, she's the one that influenced me in a bad way.

Seulgi: You got me worried there. Do you need anything?

Jisoo: I'm Jisoo, I'm okay. Don't worry. I better hang up before this grumpy old lady kill me with her eyes. I swear all she can think about right now is alcohol. I think she's the one that need help.

Seulgi: Drink with her, we all know how grumpy she can get if we didn't drink with her. Bye Jisoo, love you.

After I hang up the phone, Lisa and Chae opened the door and rushed over me to give me a hug. They keep asking me if I'm okay. Honestly, I know the feeling that I feel right now is sad and hurt. But I refuse to feel anything right now, let me just breathe. After an eternity, at least that's how I felt, the clock was ticking too slow. They were talking to each other and I just listened to them, holding my glass, which I don't even drink since Irene poured me one. Maybe because I know it will tasted bitter today. Smiling feels bitter right now. Thinking about Jennie feels bitter too. The most bitter moment I felt just now was when I opened my Instagram, there's a photo of them kissing at the restaurant.

I don't really know what to do with my life anymore. I'm torn in between telling her the truth or just hiding this feeling, forever. I mean, it won't make any different right? At least, I still can pretend, at least we're still friend. If I tell her everything, things will never be the same as it was. I might lose her and she will hate me for that. And if I keep this as a secret, I'll just live my life with lies. Been there and it's not that hard.

"Why don't we go for a yacht trip? It will be fun. Right?" Irene asked and looked at me, waiting for my answer. The duo seems to already agreed with whatever Irene have planned. "I don't know guys. I think I'll need some time to cool off. Then, at least I'll be able to see her before going back." I explained before taking a deep sigh.

"Wait!!!! Irene unnie!!! You knew? I mean about Jisoo...?" Lisa asked and not sure how to continue her words, looking confusedly at Irene. "Told you. Lisa.exe has stopped working. What do you think she's doing here all this time, being here?" Chae said while eating her food. I tell you, she's looking innocent but she can be savage with her comment. "What? am I blind all these while? Or you're thinking I'm a slow poke?" Irene replied. So they knew, they knew that I like Jennie before this. But Jennie didn't know? Or she's really uninterested with me? "Why don't you just tell her Jisoo? Tell her about how you feel." Irene continued.

"Did you hear yourself right now? She's already in a relationship for God sake! I ain't a homewrecker!" I said frustratedly as I massaged my temple. "You can't make it a secret forever! You can't hide it forever! You're lying to yourself and Jennie too. I didn't say that you'll take her from him. What I mean is at least you tell her about how you feel. You deserve that, she deserve to know too!" She argued.

"It's useless. And what if I tell her? Are we preaching about honesty now? It would just ruin my relationship her. I can't gamble our friendship, I refuse to lose her!" I fight back as the tears almost fall down. They came to me and hug me as they patted my back, as if it will make the pain vanished away.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you just now. I know you needed time to think." Irene calmly said. "Me too, I'm sorry for bringing you guys into my mess. And thank you for being patience with ass." I chuckled as I said that to calm the tight air we're having. And they just laughed after I said that. "Are we still drinking ladies?" Irene unnie asked. And I just shake my head, disbelief is written all over my entire body. As I did some thinking, maybe Irene was right. Maybe I should tell Jennie, without expecting anything in return. I'll tell her the truth when the time comes, I will accept any consequences. But I don't want to disrespectful to her relationship with Kai.

Or maybe I should just move on, find somebody else? How funny it will be after claiming that my heart was taken in the interview, then the next day flash news "Kim Jisoo spotted being with new potential lover." That will great I guess.