Jensoo - How is this for us?

Fix

Jennie's POV

It's been more than 2 months since that night happened. It's been that long that I didn't get to see her. Who's gonna tell her that I missed her so much? More than the last time. Ever since she left that night, I keep looking forward when will I get to see her. Life's never be the same without her.

She stayed true to her words, we didn't talk or call each other. we only got to see news about each other in our social medias accounts or sometimes stories that we heard from our mutual friends. I'm kind of glad that they didn't bombarded us with questions, instead they just tried not to talk about it, as if nothing was wrong.

I'm staying back at my own apartment, Irene and the others will always checked up on me, I'm sure they did the same to Jisoo too. That night, the whole time when she's confessing to me, she made me feel like she's describing the way I felt about her. If there was something so important that I've learnt from that, it is how much I loves Jisoo.

Yes I love her but I can't tell her. YET! I'm not ready. I'm afraid and I still have Kai right now, I really don't know what to do. I don't know how to admit to her, to my family, our friends. Until now, I'm trying to sink it all in. I'm afraid of people judging me and I don't want to disappoint them. I can't lose my career but I can't lose her too. I can't be with someone if I'm still afraid. I would just ended up hurting both of us. If I tell her right now to keep things between us, I know she'll agree. But I'm not that selfish bitch. I don't want her to end up hating me. She don't deserve that kind of treatment. She don't deserve to be a secret, no one does. Wait for me, I'll fix this, I will fix us.

Jisoo's POV

Sitting here at my sofa, pathetically laughed at myself. "What a beautiful life." I mumbled sarcastically to myself. I think I need a drink to put myself to sleep tonight. I looked at my phone, saw an article of Jennie and Kai being in constant dates after he came back from tour. But tonight, the photo of them kissing attached in the article. She's happy with him, afterall. I stood up from the sofa and began to walk towards the kitchen. As I was about to open the fridge, my doorbell rang? Who the fuck?? I looked at my phone, it's 10:30pm. As I was about to ignore it, just thinking about enjoying my beers and sleep for tonight, it rang again.

I gasped in frustration and grabbed a bottle of beer with me. As I checked on the door monitor, it's Lalisa. What is she doing here at this hour? Then I opened the door for her but she just lunged herself to me. "Yah Jisoonie! What took you so long to open the door? I've missed you so much!!" She squealed in excitement. "Hey Lisa.. Get yourself off of me, you're heavy. I've missed you too." I said and returned her hug as tightly as she did to me. "Said the person who's been ignoring all of our invitations." She commented and even raised her eyebrow at me.

She released me from the hug and look at the beer in my hand and she's immediately looked at me with an unbelievable face. "Is this how you cope with yourself? You better put it back before Rosè sees that. You're lucky she went back to the car to get her phone back." She said to me. Knowing Chaeyoung can spits her nag nonstop, I guess I have to postpone my plan. Just after I put the beer back in the fridge, my bell rang again, it's gotta be Chaeng. Fuhh, I'm saved by split seconds. We're just laid ourselves on my bed, talking about stuffs. I know they came here to check up on me. I don't want to trouble them but I really appreciate their motives. We talked about lots of things, mostly on stupid stuffs that me and Lisa always did.

"Unnie..." Chaeyoung called out for me and I can hear pity in her voice. "I know what you're thinking but I'm okay. You guys don't have to worry about me. I'm Jisoo, I'm okay." I said to both of them. "It's not like that unnie, you didn't even hangout with us anymore. It's kinda weird I didn't read any news about you going to clubs." Lisa butted in. I chuckled at her. "I'm a busy woman. You know we just about to start with our new movie, I'm reading scripts. In shorts, I'm busy working." I replied to her. "Liar! We asked Seulgi about your schedule, you're not that busy. As if reading scripts will took you the whole damn day." Lisa rolled her eyes on me.

"Urghh Lisa, you took your time too long. Unnie let me tell you then." Chae suddenly raised up and put her back on my headboard. "Unnie. I know it's been hard on you, but you can't be like this. You can't segregate yourself from the society. I know you keep reading on the articles about Jennie unnie. You're the one that asking for a time off, then why are you hurting yourself like this? And I hate seeing your fake smile every time we came to visit you here, I almost punch you seeing that." Chaeyoung frustratedly said to me. Told you, she won't stop until she pour out everything she's been keeping.

I sat up and took her hand in mine, Lisa also looked at me, waiting for me to say anything. I smiled weakly at them, "Thank you for being concern, I'm sorry that I keep troubled both of you. To answer you, yes I'm hurting because I thought she loved me back. I assumed.. After that night, I thought I have a chance. But seeing her enjoying dates with Kai and kissing, not even bothering about paparazzi has caught them, made me realized.. that it's just in my mind again. She's happy with him. I should've know better that she didn't mean anything she said to me that night, she said that because she pitied me.." I told Chaeyoung and Lisa.

"Did she tell you she didn't love you? Don't put things in your mind again, unnie. Unless you heard it from her." Lisa tried to comfort me. "What's more to say when you can see that she's enjoying her dates with Kai? All those photos of them has enough words, it reached to me." I weakly said. Both of them hug me and I can't help but to shed tears, I guess I need to let this out. After the way she reacted that night, I thought I have the chance, I just wanted to give her space so that she can think of things through, I don't her to feel that I'm rushing her. I guess the space I gave turned out to her dates with Kai. Then I know where I'm standing, I received the message clearly. I know I've been distancing myself from everyone, I know I shouldn't be like that.

"You're so stupid unnie, being in love makes you stupid. From what I can see, Jennie unnie is not enjoying herself with Kai. Look at her, that wasn't a smile from a happy Jennie. When she's with you, it's different." Chaeyoung said with a smooth voice, saying those maybe to cheer me up or just to comfort me. My chest hurts, as if I breathe a dirty oxygen inside, I don't want to keep my hope high again. "I wanna sleep. Goodnight lads.." I said to them. Then Lisa just pulled my comforter over her body then Chaeyoung followed her too, I looked at them with a confused face. "What? You said you wanna sleep, let's sleep together then. Your bed is unnecessary huge, so we might as well sleep here tonight. I'm too tired to drive back anyway." Lisa said and I just rolled my eyes. "I have a bad eyesight, it's too dangerous for me to drive at night." Chaeyoung said to support Lisa.

As if I don't have another room, they actually always sleep there then Jennie will sleep with me in my bedroom. Jennie again, I should stop now. But I know they don't want to leave me alone tonight, they know I will breakdown if I'm left alone. I can't ask for more from friends like them, always there to have my back. With that thoughts, I just smiled and squeezed myself between them to sleep. "Thank you guys.." I whispered, just enough for them to hear me.