THE GUARDIAN DEVIL

Chapter 31 "The Special Someone"

Lucifer's P.O.V

"I am scared!" was all she whispered after a pause, but it was all that was needed for me, to stay back with her.

I immediately turned back and removing her hands from my wrists, I placed them in mine, giving them a firm assuring squeeze, causing her to look at me. One look into her eyes, and I could clearly see the commotion and mayhem that her emotional turmoil was causing.

Her eyes were pooled with pain, terror, panic, hesitancy, uncertainty and perplexity which caused my heart to squeeze painfully, but fortunately before it could be completely crushed, a glimpse of numerous other emotions trying to overpower each excruciating feeling of hers, in her eyes, made its presence felt. Hope, willingness, courage, trust, determination and the most prominently the yearning and desire to be understood.

"D-don't turn off the light" I opened my mouth to urge her to speak, but before I could say something, she suddenly hung her head low and keeping her eyes fixed on our intertwined hands on my lap, she whispered in a low voice.

Confusion engulfed me hearing her speaking about the lamp instead of the reason due to which she was scared. For a moment; the thought, that she once again was getting hesitant and trying to avoid talking about her fears, came to my mind, but it was instantly dismissed when she continued.

"F-for two years all I have seen and felt is d-darkness. I n-never want to be in dark again. Darkness..it..it s-scares me." She stuttered in a fearful voice.

I was continuously looking at her trying to get a peek at her face..or more accurately, trying to make her look at me so as to make her understand that she doesn't need to be scared and hesitant while speaking to me, but she was not even sparing a glance and was continuously looking down, her eyes fixed on our hands. 

It took weeks for her to gain enough confidence to stop being scared, at least from me, and I was not going to allow her to fall in the same pit of fear and pain again.. ever.

I cupped her face on one side while holding both of her hands in one of mine and gently lifted her face to look at me.

"Angel..Look at me.." I said in a low voice, desperately wanting her to open her tearful eyes and look at me.

"Please, just look at me once.." I again urged when she shook her head weakly.

"I know it's really hard for you to wander back through the terrifying memories and let the vulnerability they cause, to once again suck the life out of you. I know it feels like each and every painful moment is once again squeezing the last bit of hope and happiness that might have escaped from its clutches in the first place and has somehow survived.." I said, but paused in between as her eyes flickered for a moment to look into my eyes, as if sensing something, but once again landed on our intertwined hands after a few seconds of her quite yet piercing observation.

I quickly closed my eyes and shook my head curtly while releasing a breath in hope of throwing any trace of emotions from my own past, that might have slipped, if not for the pause.

"I know that it's not an easy thing to trust someone enough to show that vulnerable side of yours, as the fear of being hurt again.. or worse, the fear of being judged at the uncontrollable things that have happened in the past, continuously keeps you on the edge and reminds you of the probable consequences that might happen if you let your guards down. I know..trust me, I know." I continued, while gently wiping off the tears that were continuously streaming down her face.

"But.. you can't just keep all these memories bottled up inside you forever. You need to live, to breathe, and accumulating the trauma inside you will only cause the pain and your fear to increase and suffocate each and every chance, that your life will gift you." I said, trying to make her understand.

"I know that sharing your past will not erase the traumatic memories and your fears completely. It will not erase the sufferings and the pain you have gone through, but what I can tell you for sure, is that it will give you the courage to face them. It will give you the strength to be independent from your vulnerability and the confidence to never be embarrassed of it again. It will give you the determination to grab each and every chance of happiness that life showers you with. It will give you the hope that you can trust someone again, and at some point even show your vulnerable side to him without the fear of being judged." I continued in a voice, as low and gentle as I could manage.

"You just need to find that one person in your life, someone who makes you want to look at the future with a smile on your face..with whom your present does seem like a 'present' gifted to you..with whom you can feel safe enough to share your past without any hesitation, no matter how mortifying, cruel and painful it might be." I said, hoping earnestly that one day that 'someone' in her life would be me.

Though deep down I knew that even if she chooses someone else to be that someone, I still will support her decision and be there for her..always, but somewhere the selfish part of me was hopeful and resolutely adamant to be her special someone..someday.

After what seemed like eternity, her gaze finally left our hands and landed on my face and a lone tear that was long gone, again slipped from her eyes.

"It's okay..it's okay!" I quickly wiped off the tear and gave her a small assuring smile. 

My heart felt like it was crushed heavily as I could clearly see that she was trying really hard to reciprocate the smile, but how difficult it was for her to push back her tears to form even the tiniest of smile.

"It's getting late angel. You should rest and get some sleep." I said as my gaze landed on the table clock that stated half past one. 

Subconsciously my mind was ready for her denial once again, but to my surprise she nodded, while once again looking back at our entangled hands. 

Though the nod was so brief that it was barely visible, but still it caused a wave of relief to course through me.

I got up from the bed and was not even able to stand completely, when I felt a pull at my hands. I turned back to look that my angel was still holding my hands, but instead of the fear that radiated through her hold a few hours ago, her hold now; was much different.

"Will you..will you stay here tonight? Please.." For a second I was unable to decipher the indescribable emotion emanated through her hold, but the words that suddenly left my angel's mouth were enough to make me not ponder about anything else and just stay by my Angel's side. 

And that's exactly what I did. I sat back on the bed immediately, with a small smile starting to form both on my lips and my heart. 

A/N

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