Always Fight | Bucky Barnes |

22

In all of my life, I have never felt more hopeless than I do right now.

After Tony arrived and left just as promptly, we used Nebula's advice on finding her father to locate Thanos on a far away planet in the far reaches of the universe. We had allowed a sliver of hope to infiltrate our minds, praying that we could reverse what had been done once we confronted Thanos. What we found was much less heartening.

The stones are gone, he used them to destroy themselves. Then, before we could speak further with him, Thor chopped his head off with his axe of glory, much good that did us. To be fair, the moment from the battle where he went for Thanos' chest and not head has haunted him every waking moment. He blames himself personally for the loss and killing the mad titan was his way of finding closure. 

I can't blame him, I really can't, because the moment I saw Thanos, I was ready to kill him myself. 

When I looked at him, all I could see was Bucky's face, the way it faded to ash in my hands. In that moment, standing just feet before the being who destroyed the course of my life and that of billions of others, I wanted to end him. In a way, I'm thankful Thor did what he did. Otherwise, I would've broken my only rule. 

And I never would have regretted it.

Nonetheless, we returned back to the Compound more scattered and lost than before. Our shred of hope was destroyed, obliterated, and shrouded with darkness. Now, we're forced to live in this world and adjust to it while we fight to figure this out. 

"So, what do we do now?" 

Natasha's question rings heavily through the air of the common room of the Compound, and when no one answers immediately I know that some of them have given up.

"I have to go," Carol announces, getting up from her spot on the couch and walking towards the front door. Nat and I share a sudden, confused glance before we stand to our feet as well.

"What do you mean, where are you going?" I ask, making her pause and turn towards us.

"This is one planet out of the many in this universe who are going through the same pain and chaos. I need to make some rounds, keep peace where I can" she explains, and I hate how I have to admit that her decision is rational and right. 

"Who else is planning on leaving?" Nat asks, her voice pure business and masking her true emotions. 

"I guess I should do the same. Besides, there's a whole galaxy of places to loot now" Rocket pipes up, but even his joking about stealing is half-hearted. 

"I'll go with the rabbit, keep him in check" Nebula informs, and I can tell from the way Rocket snaps his gaze to her and shakes his head that he decides against objecting to her 'rabbit' comment. 

I nod, understanding that spreading out is probably the best course of action right now.

"Alright, we should have weekly meetings though. That way we can keep up with each other and what we find" I announce. Everyone nods, but before we can break from the impromptu meeting, Bruce speaks up. 

"I think I'm going to go too"

At this, Nat tries not to freeze as much as she does. 

"We need you here, Bruce. There's a lot of things that we need to figure out and you're one of the smartest person I know" Nat objects, but even beneath her words I can tell she doesn't want him to go. If more of us leave, there's a chance they may not come back.

"I-I think it's best if I just go, I need some time to figure things out" Bruce awkwardly says, wringing his wrists and nodding to himself before he walks off to his room to grab some of his belongings. Before Nat can say anything else, Steve stands and walks towards his room as well. My eyes widen slightly and the glance that Nat and I share is slightly panicked.