I Still Do (bwwm) ᑕᗝᗰᑭᒪᗴ丅ᗴ

when he left

"You left home a long time ago."

My bitter response caused Jared to hang his head and I could tell by the falter in his stance that what I said stung.

His eyes remained focused on his feet below him and his voice was scratchy and gravelly.

"It was a mistake, Tay."

I cocked my head to the side, staring at him in disbelief, and it felt like years of pent-up emotions were starting to bubble up.

"A mistake? A mistake, Jared?"

By this time I was standing in front of him, staring up at him with fire in my eyes. He was towering over me and when our eyes finally met, I felt myself beginning to break.

"Jay, you-- you didn't wanna be a family anymore."

His eyes widened and he began shaking his head, and I shook my head, ignoring him; I needed to let this all out.

"I don't know what I did, but McKenna and me... we just weren't enough for you anymore."

His hands were cradling my face a second later, wiping the tears that had begun rolling down my cheeks.

"Tay, baby, that's not what happened."

I shook my head and stepped back while pushing him away; I knew what could happen if I let him in.

"Then, what was it, Jared?! Huh? What was the reason?!"

My voice bounced against the marble in the kitchen leaving a rippling echo before Jared and I were left in silence. My chest heaved with each breath I took, trying not to cry.

"Why did you break my heart?"
✖️

After New Year's Eve, things with Jared weren't the same.

He was more distant and we were constantly arguing; it was usually over something stupid, but it always ended with him leaving the house, needing to 'just get away for a while'.

Things went on like this until right after Valentine's Day, when Jared packed his things to leave.

"I'll never not be there for her."

"It's just me you don't want."

He looked at me over his shoulder as I rolled my eyes before he turned back to continue packing.

I leaned against the doorframe, watching as he went into the bathroom, returning with a toiletry bag in his hand.

"Tay, I--"

"What did I do, Jared? Whatever it is, I can fix it."

He tossed the bag on the bed and rushed over to me, using his thumbs to brush my tears away.

"Baby, it's not that. It's nothing you did. I just..."

He sighed and when I looked up into his clover green eyes, I could see him drifting away.

"Maybe we were just... too young for all of this."

I scoffed and looked away from him, still not able to believe this was actually happening.

Jared was leaving. He didn't want us anymore, and no matter how much I begged him, he wasn't going to stay.

I held back a few tears, wrapping my head around the fact that we were over before Jared's voice ripped me out of my own head.

"Tay...?"

I looked up at him with a deadpan look on my face.

"It's fine, Jared. Go."

"Baby, I love you. I just--"

"Fuck that, you don't. You wanna leave? Fine... Nobody's stopping you, okay? Go."

"Tay..."

He closed the space between and went to grab my face again, but stumbled back after my hand connected with his cheek.

My palm was burning and just as I was about to open my mouth to say something, McKenna's whines came blaring out of the baby monitor attached to my hip.

I wiped my face and stepped back shaking my head before walking out of what was our bedroom, for the last time.
♦️