I Still Do (bwwm) ᑕᗝᗰᑭᒪᗴ丅ᗴ

when I promised McKenna

"Tay, baby, that's not what happened."

When she pulled away from me, an instant chill swept over my body and all I wanted was to be near her again. She was two feet away and I still missed her.

"Then, what was it, Jared?! Huh? What was the reason?!"

I jumped a little, flinching at the tone in her voice that softened when she spoke again.

"Why did you break my heart?"

I opened my mouth then shut it again, speechless. There was nothing I could say that would make up for all the shit I put Taylor through when I left.

"I didn't mean to."

I sighed in defeat, watching as she filled her glass and quickly downed the wine in a few gulps. She reached for the bottle and poured another glass as she rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Tay, I wasn't ready..."

"Yeah, well... glad to know you're finally ready."

She chuckled sarcastically as she grabbed her glass and walked past me, leaving the kitchen.

I followed her out to the living room and took a seat next to her on the couch.

She ignored me as she resumed the movie she was watching, and after she set the remote down, I picked it up and paused the movie.

When I went for the remote, my hand brushed against hers, sending shocks through my body, shocks that I never thought I'd ever feel again.

"We were kids back then, Tay. I was naive and immature."

"And you got to leave."

She nodded blankly, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"Baby, I never left--"

"Bull!"

She set her glass on the table and looked over at me, her eyes blazing with a stormy rage.

"Who was the one that picked McKenna up from her sleepover with her cousins last year 'cause she had a nightmare and wanted to come home?! Who was the one who sat up with her when she had a fever of almost one hundred degrees?!"

She sighed sadly and shook her head.

"Yeah, you're her dad and she loves you, but you checked out Jared... a long time ago."

✖️

After getting McKenna and all of her things settled into my backseat, I hopped in the driver's seat, ready to pull out of my parent's driveway.

I moved back in with them after letting Taylor keep the apartment; just because I wasn't sure what I wanted didn't mean I was gonna make her and McKenna suffer.

I was on the highway, on my way back to drop McKenna off at Taylor's after having her for the weekend.

She was babbling in the backseat and when I glanced in the rearview mirror, she was drooling and smiling at me.

"All the parenting books say it's good to talk to you, so you learn more worlds, so, Babygirl... daddy's got some stuff to get off his chest."

My eyes flickered back again, smiling as I saw her yawn, sinking into her carseat.

"Daddy was stupid. A big, dumb stupid-head. And I've spent the last three months beating myself up over leaving you and Mommy."

McKenna began to fuss a little and after taking my exit and coming to a stop at a light, I reached back and handed her the stuffed lamb that she dropped.

"I'm so, so, soooo sorry, Babygirl. I love you more than anything and Mommy's a close second. Although... I don't think she believes that anymore."

As we pulled into my old neighborhood, I sighed, frustrated with myself.

"Hell, I wouldn't blame her. Shit! I didn't mean to say 'hell'."

My eyes widened and I looked back at McKenna, who was giggling and playing with her lamb as I pulled up to Taylor's condo.

"Let's keep this between you and me okay, Babygirl?"

I got out of the car and went to unbuckle McKenna from her seat, kissing her round cheek as I held her.

"And I know your Mommy doesn't even wanna look at me right now, but I promise... I'll do anything to get the two of you back for good."

♦️