I Still Do (bwwm) ᑕᗝᗰᑭᒪᗴ丅ᗴ

when we blended

"Every time I think about standing up there with her, in front of everybody, I just... Tay, I can't do it. I can't get married..."

Suddenly, Taylor was standing next to me, her delicate hand covering mine and I felt my heart breaking. It was all coming out like word vomit and I couldn't stop myself.

"...Not if it's not you."

When I finally had the balls to look at her, she had her bottom lip caught between her teeth and she was making a weird face.

"Taylor, I know I fucked up... a long time ago. But, baby, I wanna fix it. All of those mistakes I made... let me right my wrongs... please?"

The tears were freely rolling down my face and, at this point, I didn't care. All of our memories together were playing back in my head and I couldn't handle it.

"Jay, you--"

"Just, wait a second, okay?"

This was it. Now or never.

I took a deep breath, calming down a little before looking into the brown eyes that gave me chills and haunted my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, okay? For all of it. I didn't know what I had back then. I was a stupid fucking child. Living with what I did...? It kills me. And now all I wanna do is prove to you that I'd never let you go again. You're-- you're the only woman I can't breathe without. I just... You're my life, Princess. You and Kenny-- you're--"

"Just stop, Jared, okay?! Just stop!"

She shook her head and I hung mine, feeling like all the air was being sucked out of my lungs.

"I get it, alright? You're sorry."

The way she said it made me snap my head back up, shooting her a confused look, furrowing my eyebrows.

Her nose was scrunched up and I knew she was fighting back tears; I wanted to reach out and just brush my lips across her to try and make the pain stop, but I knew I was being selfish.

It probably would've made things worse.

"Well, what if it's too late?"

Her voice broke at the end and I looked away and winced, knowing I was the reason she was crying.

If I could've kicked my own ass, I would've done it in a heartbeat, but when her voice came out between a few sniffles, I absolutely wanted to fucking die.

"I was... broken, Jay. You... you never left Kenny, but... you abandoned me."

The dejected look on her face made me shake my head, take a step closer, and pin her against the counter.

"I swear I didn't abandon you, baby. I-- I have always loved you."

She scoffed with a sarcastic smirk on her face as she shook her head. She looked up and tilted her head, cutting her eyes at me venomously, before sealing the fate of us.