I Still Do (bwwm) ᑕᗝᗰᑭᒪᗴ丅ᗴ

when i called in sick

"What? Jay, just tell me."

Jared finally looked over at me and by the steely expression on his face, I held my breath in anticipation of his next words.

"He pushed my buttons."

I scrunched my eyebrows and set the glass down on the kitchen island, not really understanding what he was talking about?

"Meaning...?"

He sighed again and shook his head, shutting his eyes like he was remembering something.

"Meaning he said something stupid about you and I fucking lost it, okay?!"

The house was silent a second later, aside from the ticking of the analog clock I had hanging in the kitchen.

I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he'd left on the day of his wedding because of me, and I could barely form thoughts.

"Jay..."

"What, Tay?"

He sounded exhausted, but when I looked up at him there was a determined fire in his eyes. It's like he knew

"I'm not gonna let some asshole call the woman I love--"

He cut himself off and shut his eyes tight and all I could feel was my heart thumping in my ears before he continued.

His bright emerald orbs were locked on me and his deep voice was a little scratchy as he shook his head.

"I'm not gonna let some jackass disrespect you, ever. Okay?"

I shook my head, trying to make sense of the situation, but nothing was clicking.

"So, you just left?! All because he was talking shit?! Are you kidding, Jay? This is your wedding day!"

He groaned and tugged on his hair before looking across the kitchen island dead into my eyes.

"I know, okay?! Fuck!"

We were silent for a moment before he let out a deep breath, calming himself down.

"Every time I think about standing up there with her, in front of everybody, I just... Tay, I can't do it. I can't get married..."

I rounded the kitchen island, placing my hand over his when I noticed the defeated look on his face. A tear rolled down his cheek right before he looked back up at me.

"...Not if it's not you."

I sighed and bit my lip, feeling my stomach begin to twist and tumble.

I couldn't lie; I had slipped up a few times throughout the years with Jared.

It's like, I'd catch him in these moments where he was still the guy that I fell in love with and the two of us... just made sense.

All of our sneaking around came crashing down nearly a year ago.
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