The cast party is today, and I'm not ready for it. Mentally or physically.
This is the last time I'll see most of the cast and crew, other than Sav, Charlie, and Owen. And even then, we're all leaving tomorrow. I'm not ready to let go yet. I have such a strong family bond with these people, I'm not ready to say goodbye.
Savannah helps me get ready for the party because apparently I "don't know anything about fashion." Considering my closet mostly consists of hoodies and leggings, she's probably right. Not sure what I'd do without her. She's currently curling my hair for me, which I told her I could do myself, but she insisted. It's probably for the best- it always looks better when she does it.
"Sav, has it hit you yet that we're leaving tomorrow?"
"No, honestly, I think my mind is just refusing to think about it or process it," she laughs. "I don't think any of us are ready to leave, though, so I guess that's normal."
"Yeah, I know. That doesn't make it any less sucky though. I feel like I've just now found my home, and now I have to leave it all behind," I sigh.
"Well I, for one, am very glad your aunt agreed to let you stay with her. At least you don't have to go back to stay with your parents, because that'd make it even worse."
"Yes, I'm very thankful that she agreed to it, and that somehow she talked my parents into it," I say. "I'm going to miss living with you all, though. Now that I'm about to lose it, I'm starting to see how much I've taken it for granted."
"I'm sure we'll get together even after we move back, it's not like we're saying goodbye forever. But I get what you're saying- the whole taking it for granted stuff. Never thought I would end up being sad over not living next door to the two most chaotic human beings ever, but I know I'll miss them."
"I will definitely miss their chaotic energy, even if it is a little unbearable sometimes. And I'll miss you too, you've pretty much become like the sister I never had," I tell her.
"Aw, you know you're like a sister to me too, Jenny. I'm so happy we decided to live together. I don't think either one of us expected everything that's happened over the past few months, but I wouldn't change it for a thing."
"Same here. I never thought I'd grow so close with all of you, but here I am."
She smiles. "I never thought I'd see the day where you and Owen confessed your feelings, but you came through. I loved watching you two trying to deny it, though. I'll miss that too."
"Sav, we really need to stop just listing out things we're going to miss," I chuckle. "Keep on going like this, and I'll end up crying before the party."
"We can't have that, now can we? I still gotta do your makeup," she grins. "But your hair is done!" She puts all my hair over my shoulders, showing me the final product. It looks amazing, of course.
"Thank you, Sav. It's perfect," I smile. She continues on with my makeup, each of us agreeing not to talk about all of the stuff we're going to miss. Instead, we talk about Owen and Charlie and wonder what they're going to end up wearing. With those two, it's a toss-up. They may pull through, but we have our doubts.
Sav lets me borrow one of her dresses since I brought none. It's flowy and pink, and even though I am not big on dresses, I don't completely hate it. Once she's done helping me out, she goes to her room to get ready. I feel a little bad for not helping her since she did pretty much everything for me, but honestly, I don't think she cares. She knows I'm not good in that department, that's her forte.
I sit in the living room while waiting for the guys and Savannah. Charlie and Owen come first, both of them not looking as bad as we thought they would be. Owen had that really... interesting flower shirt on, but other than that, they don't look that bad.
"Hi, Jenny!" Charlie greets, and I get up to go hug him. He hugs me back tightly, and I make my way over to Owen, who's currently studying my outfit.
"You're wearing a dress," he mumbles. "Never thought I'd see the day. But you look really beautiful, Jenny," he says, looking back at me. I smile and wrap him in a hug that he reciprocates.
When Savannah comes out, I no longer feel any guilt about not helping her get ready. She looks absolutely stunning in her outfit. After she scolds Owen for his choice of clothes, we make our way out to Charlie's car.
The night goes by way too quickly, I don't even remember much of it. I remember saying goodbye to Madison, which was super hard considering how I've found myself so attached to her. I also had to say goodbye to Jeremy, which wasn't easy either. But the night was fun, despite it being bittersweet because we all knew that this marked the end. I hated having to say goodbye to Kenny and Paul because they have been some of the most amazing people to work with. Somehow, I made it through the night without crying, and I have no idea how.
I'm completely exhausted by the time we arrive back at the apartment, but we agreed that we would have one last movie night since it's our last night together. I change out of my dress into one of Owen's hoodies and leggings, and grab Owen's favorite blanket before making my way into the living room.
I fix strawberry milk before laying down on the couch that Owen and I always use. The others come in soon after, Owen snuggling close to me, and Charlie and Sav taking the other couch.
None of us mentioned the fact that this was the last time we would be able to do this. We just enjoyed it while it lasted, which I was incredibly grateful for.
As usual, Charlie and Sav fell asleep during the movie. And as usual, Owen and I have to turn it off for them and make sure Sav has an extra blanket. We make our way back to my room in silence.
Owen climbs onto my bed, looking way too sad for my liking.
"Hey, you okay?" I ask him.
"No, Jenny, I'm not," he says half-jokingly. I climb in beside him and engulf him in a hug. We stay like that for a while, neither one of us wanting to let go. When we finally do, I see that Owen has tears in his eyes.
"O, please don't cry," I say softly, which just makes the tears well up even more. "Wanna watch Miraculous with me?" I offer, and he nods. I grab my computer, and we snuggle into our regular spot while I choose an episode.
I play with his hair as we watch the episode, which seems to calm him down a bit. He keeps looking over at me every few minutes like he's making sure I'm still here. When the episode finishes, I put my computer up and come back to cuddle with Owen.
"Jenny?"
"Yes, Owen?"
"I'm not ready to go yet. I like you too much, I don't know what I'm going to do when I don't see you every day."
"I know how that feels. It's gonna be a huge adjustment trying to sleep by myself. But we'll make it through, we always do. You can always FaceTime me, and we'll visit. This isn't goodbye, okay?"
He nods. "Can I just hold you?"
"Yeah," I say. Like I could say no to that. He wraps his arms around me, basically turning me into the little spoon. He presses a kiss on my cheek before closing his eyes. "Night, bugaboo."
"Night, Owen," I say, snuggling even closer to him. I try to make the most of this last night we have together, because who knows when the next time we'll be together is.
I hate that letting go is so hard. I wish we could all just live together all the time so that we wouldn't have to worry about it. But letting go is a part of life, as horrible as it is. Even though I know I'm going to see them all again, it still hurts. I love each and every one of them so much, and I'm not ready to say goodbye. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day, I'm afraid.
