Fire and Smoke - Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Chapter 57

For the remainder of the day, I'm left alone, both physically and mentally. I welcome the solitude as I finally manage to sleep for the first time in days. The heavy curtains shield off the light from outside sufficiently, and in the semi-darkness, I lie heavily on the soft bed, my mind finally able to switch off.

It isn't until the light from outside has begun to dissipate that I finally start coming to, feeling groggy and slightly disoriented at first until I register where I am. New York. Tony Stark's. In a bed. I push myself off the bed and slowly stumble towards the bathroom, deciding I might as well shower since it's been a while, and who knows when I might next have the opportunity to. I undress gingerly, noting the various bruises on my body, all in different stages of healing, rendering my skin multifaceted shades of blue and purple.

I step into the shower cubicle (which is large enough to fit half a dozen people at least -classic), and let the hot water run down my body, warming me up and rinsing me clean. I close my eyes and just stand there as the water pours onto me, each droplet of water trying its best to win the race down to my feet. I barely even notice that my own tears join the race.

I feel so tired and like I may break any second under the weight of the water. All of my big plans have been broken and now I'm left to do what, exactly? I half-heartedly try to convince myself that I still have a purpose; that I still haven't fulfilled my mission. But it doesn't quite feel like my mission anymore. I don't know who or what to believe. I try to not think about everything Romanoff said to me earlier, and I definitely try to steer clear of what Maximoff has said. Trying to stay clear. This means that that is all I can think of, naturally.

I try to distract myself by washing my hair. It doesn't quite work. I still feel miserable and dirty, spoiled. I let myself waste some more water, pressing my forehead against the cool tiles. My eyes sting and my body shakes just so slightly as I cry silently, so tired from keeping it all in.

Feeling like I've allowed myself to wallow in self-pity for enough time I turn the water off and step out of the shower, wrapping a large, soft towel around my aching body. As I'm standing in the middle of the bedroom I realize I don't have any spare clothes, and I don't quite feel like putting my dirty, sweaty, and bloody Hydra-outfit on again. I turn and rummage in a few drawers, accidentally finding a pair of sweatpants that hang slightly too loosely on my hips but have to do, and an oversized black T-shirt is what I settle on. I twist my hair up into a loose bun, not bothering to dry it.

I walk back and slump down on the bed, drawing my knees up to my chest, hugging my legs tight, resting my chin on my knees and I look out onto the city below which has started to light up in a thousand different shades of yellows, whites, and reds, all of the tiny specks of lights resembling tiny, tiny diamonds. It's oddly calming, watching the lights sparkle. I can almost forget about me and my issues.

"Hi." A small voice startles me and I turn my head just a little too quickly, straining my neck as I try to look at whoever's just interrupted my brooding.

I'm met with the sight of Maximoff in the doorway, her hair falling softly just past her shoulders, her arms wrapped around herself protectively. She's wearing a pair of black leggings and a huge grey sweater which threatens to swallow her. She's gnawing on her lower lip, looking slightly nervous. The sight of her makes me feel slightly nauseous as feelings I can't sort out start nervously buzzing around inside of me.

"I didn't hear you." I say, my voice sounding dull.

She looks around the room quickly, smiling a tiny, quick smile which quickly fades as she looks back at me, taking a step into the room. I feel my chest constrict as she gets just the tiniest bit closer to me. I wish she would just stay over there.