Fire and Smoke - Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Chapter 69

(Before we begin, I'm sorry. Go on. See you at the end.)

"Get Maximoff." I hear that icy voice I could recognize anywhere speak, effectively cutting through all emotions that were once fluttering around inside of me, cutting straight through them, scattering them like dust in the wind to ice my heart, leaving nothing but fright in its wake.

I feel my body stiffen up. Instinctively, it knows. Sense memory. I don't want to turn my head away from Livvy. If I do, it'll be over. Whatever solace I had for that fleeting moment will be nothing but a memory that I can add to the ones I see play behind my closed eyelids every night. But she is unaware of all of this. Of course she is. As well as she has learned to read me these past months she's known me, she still doesn't know. Or maybe she does. But she can't understand. And so, she lets her hands drop from my face. And she shouldn't leave me, but she looks away.

I should feel my heart erratically beating against my ribs in fear, but it's quiet. Like it doesn't want to make a noise in fear that it'll give us away. I keep staring at Livvy. I've entered some sort of trans, wherein I feel locked inside my own body, unable to control anything. The cuffs around my limp wrists hum and it's all I can hear as my scarlet frenzied tries to find a way out to help me, to save me.

Livvy says something, always quick to words, finding them so much easier to control than I do. She sounds muffled to me, as though there is a wall of water between us. She looks mad, her face scrunched up in that way I would usually find amusing. But now I can tell she's scared. Her thoughts scuttle past each other in a frenzied race, so quick I can't tell them apart unless I really listen in. She's scared for me. And I just got her back.

I struggle to take in a shaky breath. It's not fair. It's not fair. A little part of me feels ashamed. No, it isn't fair. I should know. But I should also know that everything I've gone through hasn't just happened to me. I've always had an active part. Well, ever since my parents, anyway. But as I watch Livvy frown and place a hand out in front of me, blocking me, trying to once again place herself in-between me and my fate, I know none of this should ever have happened to her. I shouldn't have happened to her. So no, although fairness isn't ever in the cards for me, I know that equally, it won't ever be for her either, because of me.

A blurry of a black-clad guard pushes Livvy away and all I am able to do is blink lamely, frozen in place where she left me, like a marionette that's been discarded. Useless when I should be nothing but. Unfortunately for me, I am not left discarded for long. I'm roughly yanked up by my arms. My legs give way at first and someone struggles to hold me up, until someone else joins and together they keep me standing between their unyielding bodies, hard and steady like old trees, steadying their much younger and fragile companion. I don't even have the will to fight them. What damage could I ever achieve, just me? I've never done anything important without my scarlet, never been anyone important without my scarlet. Instead, I hang there, limp and silent, my eyes glazed over. Livvy shouts something at me, but I can't understand. It's almost as she's speaking in a foreign language. Why can't I do anything? If not for me, for her? But not even for Livvy am I able to force my body to do anything to defend itself or her.

I'm pulled backward, away from Livvy. She isn't affected by my weird paralysis. I watch her jump up and run for me, trying to pry someone's hands off of me. They struggle for a bit before someone pulls her off. She struggles against her restrainer. I wish she wouldn't. My heart tightens painfully in my chest at the sight of her, and I just feel scared. I wish she'd stop. My brain is still replaying her confession. Love. There's a flicker of life in my heart. Having only heard that particular word roll from her tongue once before, hearing it again, now, of all times, it's the cruelest of jokes. I know I know love. I've had it, felt it, tasted it. And lost it. As I watch her struggle against the guards, I know I can't bear to lose it again. Why I let it happen I don't know. Maybe because I'm never strong enough, just me on my own. Just like I need my scarlet I need love, and maybe I'm selfish to accept it from her when I should have known how it would end. But I've always been weak alone. And with her, I'm finally not. I'm not alone, and I'm not weak, and I'm something, someone's.