• Take My Hand • | A Taekook fiction|

(Chapter 43) • Strange Without You •

Narrator's POV

Jungkook sat in darkness while slurping on cup noodles, the television's blue light being the only source of luminance in the living room. He watched some channel which showed the lifestyle and behaviourisms of elephants— or rather, he simply looked at the large screen with bored eyes, mind wandering off to places he couldn't name.

Who was he kidding, his mind was wandering off to places where Taehyung was present.

Third time. It was the third time he had seen him at the verge of death. But the difference is, this time, he was really gone.

Just gone.

The younger had fallen limp in his arms. He had barely felt his pulse by the time the ambulance was there. He remembered how his shirt was wet from the froth that had spilled out from Taehyung's mouth. He remembered being hysterical and panicking in front of the paramedics, he remembered screaming his lungs out when they took his love away from him, he remembered crying uncontrollably, gasping for air as his friends tried to calm him down though they were also in the same situation as him— waiting for some sort of news about Taehyung while trembling in fear of losing him forever. He remembered getting up and leaving before the doctor came out of the operating theatre because he just... couldn't anymore.

He remembered how he didn't get to say 'I love you too' to him that day.

Heaving out a shaky sigh, he placed the empty cup noodles amongst the other thirteen on the floor beside him before staring soullessly at the moving images on the screen.

Was everything he did not enough? He promised to let him know when he had the urge, right? He promised to use those pens, those canvases and paints when that happened right? But was it really because of the urge? He had overdosed on those sleeping pills. Why did he give into Taehyung's pleas that day? Was this all planned? Is this why he had been so keen on letting him go out and have some alone time? Or had something unexpected happened while he was out that day? He couldn't even ask anyone about what the hell had happened. He shouldn't have left.

He shouldn't have fucking left.

He hadn't heard from anybody since that day, he hadn't attended his classes, he hadn't answered the dozens of calls and hundreds of text messages from his friends and family. He had ignored the loud knocks and the sound of the doorbell going off as well as the yells of Jimin and Hoseok. He didn't remember how many days had passed, and he'd barely seen any light other than this damn Television's. He'd completely isolated himself from everyone.

Taehyung was gone. He had fallen limp on him. He couldn't say 'I love you' back, and he'd never be able to say it back to him. And it was probably all his fault.

This is all he was thinking about. He couldn't think about anything else, no matter how much he tried to. Everything reminded him of his Taehyung. Heck, even these damn elephants on the screen reminded him of how Taehyung used to pinch the skin between those two cute moles he had on his arm to 'make an elephant'. He couldn't sleep without being surrounded by Taehyung's clothes; the now faint scent of him was something that calmed him down as well as saddened him.

He felt a tear slipping past his eye, staining his cheek and neck as it rolled down. Then another, and another.

Soon, he was a sobbing mess, rocking back and forth violently. Thinking of attending another funeral this month made him wail more; a heavy, stinging feeling spreading over his chest. Thinking of losing the only love of his life, shattered his heart into pieces—  pieces he doubted could be made into what it once used to be again.

He didn't know what to feel. He felt everything at once.

He was alone. There was no Taehyung to hold him close and caress him as he cried. Jungkook without Taehyung felt rather strange, unpleasantly so. 

And so, he sat there alone in the darkness, crying himself to sleep.

What else could he do?

______________________________________________

[A shorter chapter this time hehe. But yes, I'm thinking the next chapter could be more lighthearted than this and the previous ones, I may be sort of rushing it or dragging it, I don't really know so please do let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your opinions on this book in general.

'Take my hand' is actually nearing its end too, and I have another book planned. So I'm excited for that even though I cannot promise regular updates because school.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Love you lovelies! <33]