12| I'm Going to Hell

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ARABELLA's POV

Punch.

I need to be away from you—

Punch. Punch.

I don't want you in my life—

Punch. Kick. Kick.

I needed you

Punch. Kick. Punch. Punch.

Please leave—

I can't fucking sleep.

I've tried closing my eyes to block out the chaos and stress in my life but I can't. At this point, it feels impossible, especially when my mind keeps replaying the events from the car.

The more I think about what Rhett said, the faster and more aggressive my movements become.

My fist continued to punch the bag that was hanging from the ceiling. My feet would occasionally lift up to deliver a hard kick as the pain that followed my strike eased my mind simultaneously soothing my senses.

The pain: it was the drug that kept me going.

Only the sound of loud thuds resonated in the empty gym, mixed with the angry grunts that came out from my mouth.

Those grunts were soon replaced by curses that flew out like a damn river as I continued to slam my fist down on the bag in the hopes of distracting and relieving my mind from the overwhelming mayhem of my thoughts.

I was painfully aware that Rhett's room was a few rooms down to mine and the urge to barge into his room was one of the reasons I'd been caged within these walls for hours.

I'm surprised that none of my brothers had barged in by now, given all those idiots seem to do is work out, but I'm not complaining.

Being alone is what I desperately needed right now. I needed to get my shit together before I began to lose all control.

If Rhett doesn't want me then it's completely fine with me. In fact it's probably for the best because pursuing anything with him isn't exactly what I had in mind.

And all I have to do now is stick to the plan.

I slipped and made a mistake when I showed him my vulnerability today, and I'm going to make damn sure that it doesn't happen again.

I'm the leader of the Russian Mafia and there's no time for me to be a child, I can't be weak and I certainly can't be vulnerable.

And it's not like I'm in love, it's my emotions that are being manipulative as fuck.

My breaths were coming out in heavy pants as I slowed down a bit but my movements didn't come to a halt.

My thoughts were a jumbled mess and I needed an outlet to clear my mind, so that I could think straight.

As my thoughts wandered towards Rhett, I couldn't stop myself from picturing his lips, those damn kissable lips, and his hands, the things his big calloused hand could do—

"FUCK NO—" I yelled in frustration while slamming one last aggressive punch.

My wrist instantly contorted in an excruciating pain causing me to jerk it back as I let my hand fall loose, slowly swinging it up and down to relieve the pain.

I sensed a movement near my ear as I quickly bent down while bringing my fist up to punch whoever was behind me.

As my gaze met the gaze of the perpetrator's, I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly removed my punching gloves. I moved in closer to examine his face, which was still frozen and stunned from the unexpected hit.

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