Ch38. Everyone Needs a Brake

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IM SO BAD AT THIS. I'll say this though once I get caught up on school there will be regular updates.

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Lucas

"Where is she?" I say to myself looking in every room in this damn house. It just has but be so fucking big when I'm looking for someone.

Doesn't help that she's so small.

A few days ago when she walked out of the room she shrugged me off and disappeared. I figured she wanted some alone time so I left her but now I haven't see her for days.

I'd be worried she hasn't eaten but the house cameras show her coming to eat late at night when everyone is asleep. Though she looks dead.

I want to know whats going on inside this girl's head. I have a pretty good idea of what is going on but I don't want to be the one thinking he knows everything.

I sigh in defeat and sit on the floor my back against the wall. Where would she be. It's six o'clock at night where would she be? Her room is empty and I checked all the hiding spots in the room. She's wouldn't hide in the kitchen to many people. Every where else is useless.

I feel the light shine on my face and I look out the window. The sun set is nice tonight.

The sun set.

I jump up and make my way to the garden. If I'm right about this shell be in the garden watching the sunset. I used to do that when I I stressed before I went to other ways of coping. I should have never stopped.

I open the doors quietly and step out closing them behind me. I walk through the garden and make it to the swing me and Ceb set up when we were younger.

I stop and just watch her for a moment. She's swinging a little on the swing hands in her lap and her hunched over shows  me she's tiered.

Her hair is down and flowing a little bit in the wind. Enjoying the sunset.

I silently walk over and sit on the ground next to her. She notices me but doesn't say anything for a while.

"I'm tiered of it." She says no emotion in her voice. I don't like that.
I keep quite letting her do her own thing. "I only found out about this whole thing almost a year ago. But I've been living with it my whole life."

" I mean I never had the hardships of it from the start but I didn't get to have my mom there every day because of her job. Or the countless times we've hid in this tiny spot in our house while she had suspicions of bad people coming to get us."

"And then when I get here I get kidnapped twice. Both times bringing one or more of you guys with me. At this point it's not me their after. I'm also not blaming my self either.

It's just I have no clue what they want anymore. It went from me to maybe me and you to maybe me you and Ceb. Who knows maybe at one point it could have been all of us."

"But we all know their goal is to kill all of us. I've thought on this. No matter how much I try and stay out of this I'll always be a target. Look at Jayden she stays out and yet she's getting attacked why? Because we are apart of this family. Our last name is what puts the target on our back."

"I'm not mad about what family I was born into. I'm fucking honored to be part of it. I just- I just wish things were different some how. Maybe we weren't trying to kill a whole other Mafia that's after our head. Or we weren't in the Mafia at all.

No one can be mad at me for saying that because I know at some point all of us have wished to not be in the Mafia. I mean It's horrible."

"I just don't know." She sighs getting off the swing and sitting next to me. "Well while we were.. you know I was thinking a lot. How I've been in this my whole life and I've never could escape it. I've always gotten right back out there after I've healed. I guess I used work as a way of not thinking about everything else." I say looking up and around.

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