Perfect (bo burnham fanfiction)

~ chapter eighteen ~

• Bo's POV •
I always wanted my childhood to just zoom past me, i always thought I would get better. I wanted to be an adult so bad, I wanted a wife, children, to get away from my controlling parents.

I do not want that now.

My life is so hectic now. All I ever do is comedy. And don't get me wrong, I love it and it's honestly the best job I could ask for but sometimes I just want to rest. My acts aren't too demanding, seeing as the jokes aren't too appropriate half the time, nobody really wants me that often. But I just think it's so unfair, my dad got paid less for being a construction worker. My dad worked so hard every single day and all the sudden i start making people laugh and im making just as much, sometimes more than him? Art is dead, it really is.

I head back to Coraline's room, just getting off the phone with my "manager". He's barely even legit but I mean he's good enough. I don't anyone too good. He called me asking when I was available to do another show, even though he is "sorry" and he "understands what im going through" with my family situation with my mom right now. BS, I think. He couldn't care less. Im giving him money and that's all that matters to him.

I was going to go and talk to coraline about how she feels if I leave to do a gig in a week or so just so maybe I can pay for these bills if it has to come to that, or Just for some extra cash.

I finally reach her room and see a bunch of nurses huddled around her. The nurses must really love her, she's always being surrounded by them.

I run to them and squeeze through to see her lying on the ground. I stand there while the nurses try to help her up. What is going on with her?

"What happened?" I whisper. It's barely audible but that's kind of how I wanted it.

"She was calling for someone but she just was not strong enough to do it by herself so she blacked out. She will wake up in a couple minutes. Please don't leave her again without one of us knowing," he scolded, like it was my fault. Except it was. Everything is my fault. I cause coraline more stress than anything.

The nurses rush and get her back into her bed safely. They leave and I just stand there in shock. Maybe im just bad luck. I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve her. I barely even know her. Why do I care so much. What is wrong with me. Why does she even like me. Why am I still here? My parents hate me. I hate me. She will hate me.

I can't stop thinking, and I was about to go insane. Until I heard her.

"Bo? Is that you? Please come sit next to me," she says, very softly. My mind instantly is okay by hearing her voice, and my smile is plastered back on. I can't stand being upset around her, she just makes everything perfect.

"Yeah, it's me. Do you know what just happened?" I asked her, slowly approaching her and taking the same seat i sat at before I left.

"Ummm well, I know I blacked out. I have no idea what happened after that. You don't need to talk about it, im okay now. Why did you leave me?" She says, sounding so hurt. I can't stand the pain in her voice. It feels like there are spikes in every centimeter of my body and they are just impaling me and it just won't stop until she says something else.

"Well, that was my manager.." I say, not wanting to bring up the gig. She just looked at me, waiting for what she knew was coming. "He wanted me to do a gig in Traverse City, some concert thing. Ha, the guys on that guy right.. The guts..." I say in a way so she knows I might want to do it.

She sighs, but then looks at me and smiles like I didn't just hear her sigh. "Do it." The spikes don't stop.

"What?"

"Do it. I mean why not. You'll need the money. Why wouldn't you?" She says, totally casual.

I look at her confused but realize she's right. There's really no reason not to do it. "Okay, I'll call him or something. Later."

It's silent for a while before she starts again. "When I get out of here are you going to treat me differently? Like a crippled?" She says, no hint of humor in her voice.

"Why would you say that? Why would I treat you different?" I reply, not hinting to any humor either.

"I dunno. People treated me different when they found out I was a lesbian." She laughs a little and then looks the other way. Im taken back but assume she just need some rest.

"You're funny," I say sarcasticly.

She laughs a little and looks at me. "but really, Bo. People treat me like absolute crap one day, then the next day pretending I don't exist, and then the next kind of being nice to me. People always treat me different and I really don't know why."

I know why. I think, but don't dare say aloud. I would only have to assume people treat her different because of the scars. There were so many of them so one day someone could see them and act nice, and the next be a little bum too.

"Please don't leave me, Bo. You're the only one I have."

She must be having terrible side effects to whatever's happening because she just went from tired, to loopy, to serious and i-didn't-mean-to-say-that.

She falls asleep fast, and I can only bet that the nurses probably injected her with something when she fell. I put her blanket around her and realize that her arms were exposed the whole time. It's either she was too loopy to notice or that she actually didn't care. She trusted me.

I hold her hand the whole time from when she fell asleep until I fell asleep, and even through it then if I didn't let go while in my slumber.

I know we just met, but I think i really do love her. And we could potentially have a great future together.

We just need to stop growing up a little bit first.
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OMG GUYS DID THAT CHAPTER MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL BC LIKE WHEW I WAS LISTEING TO MUSIC AND LIKE MY MIND WAS LIKE EVERYWHERE OMG
someone commented last night asking me when I was going to update next so im like you know what
I'll do it tomorrow
ALSO RHANK YOU TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO LEAVE COMMENTS IT MUSH APPRCIATED SO THANK YOU ILYY
VOTE COMMENT READ PLEASE OR DONT I MEANT ITS UR LIFE
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OK BAI SEE YOU NEXT WEEK