IT ISN'T YOU

50| Have faith in him

This week had been informative and desperate I'd say. Taehyung cleared it all, whatever there was to know, I knew it. It became pretty understandable how they all are deeply connected despite being co-workers, like the loops of a chain.

Jin's single dad had always made sure his son didn't feel the absence of a mom, he had always showered him with intense love and care, but, he could only do so much under the pressure of work. Needless to say, he noticed when his son started feeling aloof and wasn't as cheerful. When Jin turned 11 his father adopted a little guy, as his second son. The elder was shocked to see another boy in their house, sitting quietly on the couch. But to Jin's dad's relief, the older and the younger clicked together. That very much explains the reason behind everything.

Taehyung also repeated the Mafia thing, though it was vague, it was pretty understandable that they were sabotaged before, and Jin's mind was messed up because what he experienced in his early work days, had scarred him. Therefore, he decided to keep the ones whom he cared for close to himself, and the rest of them—coming from different parts of Korea, were happy to oblige. Ever since then they have been together. He also told me how basically everyone went into a state of dilemma after they started getting attacked by paparazzi, and as he says, 'one thing led to another and now this.'

It was desperate too, both of us waited for any change in Jimin's position. The doctors were in the dark too along with us, they couldn't say anything for sure. Jimin was well taken care of by Taehyung and the nurses. We knew that if Jimin didn't wake up by the end of this week then he would be shifted to the comma, and I didn't even want to think about the possibility. We couldn't do anything at all, it depended on Jimin when he wanted to wake up. We just wished it'd be soon, and I hope we make things correct this time.

I sighed shuffling both cups of noodles in my hand, closing the door behind me. Putting the containers on the floor, I crouched beside Taehyung. His head lay on his hands on top of Jimin's bed, his right squished as he slept. The only time you'll see him sleeping somewhat peacefully these days was when he's beside Jimin. It didn't matter to him if the position wasn't the one to sleep in at all, Taehyung always said he found solace sitting there, it made him feel as if Jimin would start talking any moment. Lifting my hand, I brushed his hair away from his eyes. Taehyung stirred a little, nuzzling his face into his hands.

I don't know if I should wake him up right now...He looked so calm and always seeing him distressing over one thing or the other is painful.

Deciding on letting him sleep, I covered him gently with a blanket. The floor was cold, yet it didn't bother Taehyung even a little because he was next to Jimin. Pouring hot water in the noodles, I sat on my chair near the window, looking outside at the blue sky. It was a gentle day. The cool breeze and warm sun were comforting, winter was about to arrive in a few months. I sank back in the chair, and my mind drifted to that night. My throat clogged up and I scoffed, met the wrong person at the wrong time.

Would be like this right now if I hadn't met you like that?

I still hadn't forgotten how he felt about me at the moment, and it hurt me deeply...but, I started this didn't I? I had to end this too— end his suffering. I never in a million years thought I'd be the one to cause such trouble for him. I wondered what it would be like if we weren't like this, maybe laughing about something embarrassing we did in the past, nagging each other for the most random things. I would love to tell him why I didn't show up at his birthday, I would love to tell him how much I missed his company, I would tell him how much I was thankful to him, I would tell him how life without him didn't hold meaning for a long time, I would tell him that my name isn't Cathy, but I messed up my chance to do so.

Tears blurred my vision and I gulped heavily. We would've been different, right? I wish I never met you Park Jimin, now; living without a memory of you seems like pure bliss. I would probably ask you if you still remember what you sang to me when I was at my worst and the fact that you do doesn't make it easier to go on like this. You've once again turned my world upside down, but the first time and the present aren't anywhere close to similar. I sniffle, quietly wiping my tears.

"It must be hard on you."

I flinched at the voice. The silent atmosphere of the room was broken by Taehyung, who sat awake with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I laughed humorlessly, "I can't even relate to one percent of what you feel though, you both have been together for ten years, doesn't compare to our mere months." He looked at Jimin's hand, and gently clasped it between his own; he smiled bitterly at the coldness that he couldn't get used to. Taehyung's heart sank whenever he was greeted with the icy cold skin instead of the warm and soft hand he was familiar with. Taehyung was afraid he'd forget the warmth of his friend, he tried not to focus on that and stroked his hand delicately. "Bonds aren't defined by time; they're defined by the emotions individuals experienced when with each other. Time has nothing to do with it."

I inhaled deeply, fighting back the urge to cry. "I don't know Taehyung, I messed up big."

"Who says it's too late to fix everything?" He enveloped Jimin's hand once again, rubbing his thumb on the skin. Taehyung looked at the beeping monitor and smiled slightly, "He's staying strong, isn't he? Let's not think negatively. It's not too late, paparazzi can't do shit." "I'm sorry," I whispered, my words fading into nothing. He got up and crouched down in front of me, removing the cup noodles on my lap, he held my hands. "I'm saying it again; it isn't all your fault."

"I can't help it..."

"I understand that, but grieving over things brings no good, yes, we need to let emotions flow and not bottle it up, but—" He sighed again, "You know what I mean right?"

"I do." Taehyung nodded sympathetically, "Let's eat now, hmm? We need energy."

I agreed and got up to pour hot water in his cup while he sat on the floor, looking at the Jimin with blank eyes, he did that often.

We ate in silence, but the unspoken words between words were loudly echoing off the dull walls, 'Have faith in him.'

*******

"How are they?" I asked, feeling a little bit relieved to see his lips twitching up in a grin.

He shrugged as he took a seat beside me, "Things are going slowly there. Jin hyung met with the chairperson of that company, and they said it'd take a little while to put the formula cars on display, they have this one special launch soon, they're working on the assembling process or something like that. Jin hyung also said something regarding the testing process of that car, but it went over my head, and since it's the car we have to promote they have to wait until the company gives them confirmation to start working on it. Yoongi hyung has received an idea of how the clients would like it to be, so, he's already engaged in making sure everything runs smoothly and producing background music."

"What about the creative director...?"

Taehyung frowned and his face fell, "Jungkook would be in charge for now," he breathes out, "Anyways, they're doing well till now."

"That's nice to hear."

Taehyung hummed, taking his seat on the chair, putting his phone away. The annoying beeps of the monitor fill the room and I closed my eyes, lulling myself to sleep.

A few minutes passed by and I heard Taehyung's alert voice and my heart sank. I snapped my eyes open and looked at him attentively. "T-The monitor," His voice trembled, fingers shaking as he pointed to the screen. I looked at the screen, a choked gasp left my lips as tears build up in my eyes. 

"His h-heart rate, w-why...is it decreasing?"  

A/n: How are you all even reading this...? Especially the initial chapters give me a headache if I think about it. It's so poorly written. I'm so sorry ya'll had to go through that. T_T