Fever Dream ~ Neymar Jr

Chapter 40

2018

When we heard Marina's name, we jumped from our seats for the fourth time that day and walked towards the doctor. She looked exhausted, from having delivered so much bad news, from having seen so much life lost, from having to comfort strangers? I didn't know.

The same process as before. We said Marina's name and she asked me my relation to her. "My friend. She's my friend."

We followed the nurse through the same big white doors, Neymar's hand in mine, like the previous times.

Only this time was different. Because we didn't go to the ICU. We took the elevator and Neymar squeezed my hand tighter.

We met the doctor, the same doctor that had delivered the news about Michael. He looked at me compassionately. "I'm sorry." He said.

Neymar's hand squeezing mine so tightly it hurt, was the only thing I could feel, as the doctor spoke but I was barely listening. And when the doctor told me I needed to go inside for identification, I realized that Neymar wasn't squeezing my hand. I was squeezing his. And my fingernails had pierced his skin and came away bloody but he hadn't let go.

"Only one." The doctor said when Neymar tried to follow me. He looked like he was ready to fight his way in, to stay by my side.

"No, it's okay." I told him. "I've done this before."

I went inside the room. Why do all morgues look the same? Why do they cover the bodies with a sheet? For the grant unveiling?

For a second my mind played tricks on me. James, I thought. Like déjà vu, I was back in Ukraine, being asked to identify James, my dead boyfriend and my brother's best friend.

But no, when the sheet was taken off her, it was Marina. My brother's girlfriend and my friend and if Michael would wake up, I would have no words to explain to him how this happened to us a second time.

Marina was black and blue, because as the doctor explained, she and two others had been ejected from the cable car. She didn't die from that though. She had injuries yes, but she was alive. She fought and struggled for hours. Until she couldn't anymore. She died from frostbite. Because she was thrown so far away, down a hillside, it had taken them hours to locate her.

"It's her." I whispered and ran my hand along the side of her face, which had been intact. Her skin was cold as ice but despite the ordeal she had been put through, she looked peaceful. If her cheeks were rosy instead of pale blue, you'd think she was sleeping.

~*~

I stayed with Marina for a while. When I returned to the lobby, at that point only a ghost of myself, Neymar told me the doctors were looking for me about Michael. I braced myself for the final blow as we went in search of the doctor.

"Your brother is stable." He told us. "His condition is still critical but I believe he will pull through."

The wail that left my lips was so high pitched, I didn't know I was capable of making such a sound. "He's going to pull through." Neymar told me, embracing me again.

"Go home, get some rest." The doctor told me. "You can't go into the ICU again, not today."

I turned to look at Neymar. "We have to tell the others." I told him, feeling like the angel of death.

"I can do it." He told me. "You can wait here and—"

"No." I cut him, and we walked to Romy's room together, were Sam and Alexandra had been waiting.