Fever Dream ~ Neymar Jr

Chapter 68

2015

Neymar's idea for our next stop was a neighborhood in São Paulo with antique and charity shops that were full of second-hand gems like clothes, books, furniture and jewelry.

"This place is amazing." I said, as he and I shifted through football jerseys at a place that sold football mementos and souvenirs. There were some that were new, like those featuring Neymar's name and number but also older ones from previous years, some even going back decades. In the end we found two rare jerseys of Romário and Sócrates, which Neymar bought for his collection. The cashier was so excited when he recognized Neymar, he tried to give them to him for free, but Neymar paid and also took a photo with him.

"I haven't been here in ages." Neymar told me. "I wouldn't have thought to come if it wasn't for you." He said, putting his hand on my back as we walked. "This is the place I was thinking about." He said, showing me a very small store that I might not have even noticed if he didn't point me to it. It did not have any displays outdoors, there was only a sign that said 'livraria'. There were all kinds of books inside, new releases and older ones, categorized both by genre and year. Most of them where in Portuguese but there was also an English section.

"Wow." I said. "This is heaven."

Neymar smiled. "Here is the poetry section." He told me as the store owner approached as and asked if he could help. "Quero comprar um livro de poesia para minha noiva. Você pode me recomendar um?" Neymar said and I felt butterflies in my stomach at how casually he said my fiancée, when he asked the store owner for a recommendation for a poetry book for me.

"Bem, se é para sua noiva, posso sugerir Hilda Hilst ou Carlos Drummond de Andrade?" He suggested two poets. "Oh! Tenho outra ideia. Esperar." He said, thinking of something else to suggest and disappeared behind the counter. He reappeared a minute later with a box. He opened it and inside was a book wrapped in tissue paper. It read 'Libro de Sonetos, Vinicius de Moraes'.

"Primeira edição. ideal para amantes." The man said.

"It's a first edition?" I asked Neymar and he nodded.

"He says it's perfect for lovers." Neymar said and put his arm around my neck bringing me closer. "Nós vamos comprar isso." He told the man, who smiled and quickly hurried to wrap it up for us.

"Don't you think it's a little much? A first edition? After that engagement ring, that I don't even want to know how much it cost, and a Rolex?"

"Well, the ring is going to be forever, it could hardly be a basic one." Neymar said, chuckling. "You have to stop worrying about money, okay? What's mine is yours." He told me, but his mom's words rang in my head. How would I ever be able to give him gifts of the same magnitude as the ones he gave me? How could this relationship ever be equal?

After we bought the book and a few other small things in the other antique stores, we headed for lunch. After the morning hike and then our shopping spree I was starving.

When we sat at the restaurant, and ordered, I braced myself for the conversation I've been meaning to have with Neymar since Christmas morning, after I overheard his argument with his family.

I took his hand in mine which made him look at me, as if he sensed something was wrong. "I want to say something."

"Okay." He said, his face serious.

"I want you to know, there is a free return period. No questions asked." I said, looking at my ring that I had slipped back into my finger after the hike, and then looking at him. He followed my gaze and when he realized what I meant, he pulled back.

"Why would you say that?" He asked me, his voice raised and urgent. "Have you changed your mind?"

"No. No!" I said quickly. "It's just that..." I stopped. "That proposal, all the thought and planning that went into it, it was probably the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done or will do for me." I said. "But, at the same time, if someone were to think that this is moving too fast... I'd also understand that." I was trying to beat around the bush, give him an out in case his mother's words had a bigger impact on him than he let on. You will resent her. Remember my words.