A Trilogy "Against the Odds" Book 2

Ahh Sanem Ahh

Can walked in the Hotel Lobby with pure convenience that he was going to fix this with his beautiful wife. The manager had the room key already for him because he had called last night to let them know of his arrival for this early in the morning. Before going up to the room arrangements were made to extend the check out time to later in the afternoon. Can at this point didn't care if he had to pay for another night even if they weren't staying. He asked for a breakfast menu and ordered everything on it to have it delivered at 9am.

When he quietly entered the Suite the living room area was a mess. Empty bags were scattered around and new clothes were in piles. There was one thing that really caught his eyes laying on back of the couch. Sanem had 4 each of the color black and white t-shirts with a pair scissors, paint brushes along with black and white fabric paint. Each shirt, she had cut tiny holes in them. The black t-shirts had a white heart painted on the left side near the heart when worn with each of their names painted in black inside each heart. The white shirts were the same except with a black heart with white writing. He was at awe looking over each one carefully. He slowly made his way into the bedroom and stood at the doorway leaning against the frame. He had to laugh at what he saw. The light from the television and the bathroom light was on so he could see his wife sound to sleep in a black dress shirt that must of been his that she bought him. It was unbuttoned laying open between her cleavage with her cute little thong made of black lace. On each side of her was the tray of cheese, crackers and all of her sweets. Can looked over at the nightstand and saw a empty bottle of wine and a glass laying on its side. Before he could even attempt to crawl in bed and cuddle with her he had to clean the bed up. So he picked each thing up and threw them away in the kitchen trash can. When every thing was cleaned up. Can slowly climbed in bed next to Sanem and began placing gentle kisses on her face and neck. She started to moan not opening her eyes not realizing that her husband was actually there. "Good Morning" he whispered softly in her ear. She moved her head "Damn, my head hurts. Why did I drink a whole bottle of wine? Ah Sanem Ah!" Can just had to laugh. She layed still with her eyes closed and rolled over on her stomach to go back to sleep hoping to feel better. Can placed his body half way on hers to make her more aware that he was there with her.

"Because you were mad and upset with me. That's why you drank so much. Looks like you had yourself a nice little party too."......."Remind me not to drink like that again." She said in a very low voice grabbing her head with both hands. "Why are you here Can? I'm still upset with you"......."Because I came to apologize and tell you how much I appreciate everything you do for me and the twins."......."Why do you not ever listen to me and feel you have to control everything or everyone around you. What's going on Can?"........"Sanem, It's because of the abandonment issues and insecure attachment caused by my mother leaving. When we went to the counseling sessions with Emre. It came out and realized that is why I have a issue with control. Deep down inside it is still there. She told me that change can only happen when I seek to understand and respect myself. Then begin to work on improving how I interact and react to others. That I also needed to start owning up to my part in any argument, learning to let go, walk away, reflect and look at how to repair it. After our sessions ended Dad made a promise to help me to navigate my way through all these emotions and reactions."

Sanem let Can continue to talk as she layed there with her eyes closed trying to deal with her headache due to the hang over and listen to what he was saying.

"I am also a narcissists! She pointed out that I am always trying to grab control of everything in which you know. She explained that because narcissists are continually disappointed with the imperfect way life unfolds, they try to control it as much as possible. They want and demand to be in control, and their sense of entitlement makes it seem logical to them that they should be in control—of everything," he adds "My mother was a controlling parent, that only showed conditional love and withheld love as a control tactic. Withholding love, affection, or approval when I failed to meet her standards. Sanem —I want to take accountability and change my behavior. It's not fair to you.  I really don't mean to do that to you"........."Can, when you text me constantly while you aren't around, I feel like you don't trust me. When I don't feel trusted, I feel diminished and like you don't think I can take care of myself. That really makes me feel like the underdog in this relationship, and like you have more power—and I don't like feeling powerless. I had had enough! You made me feel that way yesterday and that's why I left and stayed here last night."........"Baby, I am sorry. I didn't mean to do it on purpose.
The way I chose in dealing with my mother, was through the establishment of strong, firm and consistent boundaries...... Can adds it can be scary, but it's exactly what I needed to do in order to break free from this dysfunctional pattern. So I respectfully choose to make a different choice. I declined her offers to keep me in her life after all she had done. I don't want to interact with her because it created an uncomfortable situation for me. So I felt that it was important for me to create emotional space and distance. But, unfortunately, I turned it around and did it to you. So here is the bottom line! I realized that when I seek to control you, it's not coming from a place of love but, in fact, quite the opposite: fear. I am working on that and to be perfectly honest with you, there is still a fear inside of me that you will abandon me too. My controlling behavior and manipulation are toxic and don't align with what open and honest communication is all about—which is necessary for a healthy relationship. I promise from here on out to stop making you feel that way. Will you please forgive me? I don't want to loose you that's why I made up my mind to come here this morning so we could talk this out."
Sanem turned around to face Can

"First of all, get it out of your mind that I am never going to abandon you. Second, we will discuss ways to share control or responsibilities and set boundaries about what is acceptable and what is not. Third, I listen to you Can, you need to listen to me it's only fair. We are in this marriage together so, to make it work, you and I need to be a team to make it work."........"I understand. So am I forgiven?"......."Yes you are, but if you try to control things again. I will do what I did yesterday and book me a room here again for night."......."OK, you know make up sex is the best. Would you like to make up with me?"........Sanem laughed and said "Sorry I have a headache Can. You'll just have to wait" Just then room service arrived at the door. Can got up to let them in with carts full of breakfast items. He tipped the crew locked the door and took them into the bedroom. "Breakfast is now served princess. Maybe when you eat you will feel better we can have a nice make up sex session." Sanem just laughed as she dug into her meal.