Unrequited Love

Chapter 13 - Mikhail

"Are you crazy?" I whirled around as I levelled Sofia with a furious glare.

"What's crazy about that?"

"Are you shitting me right now Sofia Katarina Petrov? You were talking about her. About Mother."

"Mikhail." She sighed as her shoulders deflated. "You're going to have to talk about her someday. It's been five years. You haven't said her name for so long. It's not healthy brother." She stepped closer to me as she tilted her head.

The same pain that was in my eyes reflected in hers - she too had lost a sister, after all.

"I can't." My voice cracked at the last word. I knew that what Sofia was saying was right but I just couldn't bring myself to think about her or even talk about her. It hurt too much. Where others reminisced happily about their loved ones that had passed, I bottled it up and refused to speak about it.

Dimitri had sent me to see so many therapists in the one year following her death - but they hadn't worked. They never had. They'd always say the same thing. He's too closed up. It had gotten so bad that I couldn't even follow through with my duties as Pakhan. I figured that the problem was in me. I was broken. I couldn't fix anything. I couldn't save her. When I finally realised that her life was in danger, it was too late. For years to come, I drowned in my grief, silently. The two years after she died were the worst - one of the rare occurrences where I would only drink and fuck around. In many ways I had become very similar to Sergei. And that realisation snapped me back to reality. I never wanted to be like him. Ever. Slowly but steadily, I took back control over my life after that. It was hard, no doubt about that - but I did it. I was at a point now where I could go for days without thinking about her. Days when I wouldn't feel the excruciating pain. Where I wouldn't feel as if my heart was being ripped right out of my chest. Saying her name still triggered me though.

"Oh Mikhail." Sofia's face crumbled as she wrapped me in her arms.

I wasn't usually very touchy feely - Sofia was the only exception to that rule. She had taken care of me and stood by me. She understood my pain like nobody else did. And for that I would always be grateful to her. She had a big part in making me feel somewhat like a human again. And so, I let her hug me. I sank into her embrace as I let myself feel those pent up emotions. Emotions that had drained me for the past five years.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered as a single tear slid down my cheek.

I was tired of feeling this way. Of constantly having this responsibility of being the tough, inhumane leader. I didn't want it. Any of it.

"We'll figure something out." She said through her own tears as she patted my back.

"Look at us. Getting all emotional on each other." She let out a strangled laugh as we both pulled away from the embrace.

"Oh. I almost forgot." I pulled out a set of keys from the pocket of sweatpants as I handed them to Sofia.

"Happy Birthday, sestra." I chuckled as she stared open mouthed at the set of car keys that I had just handed her.

It had been her dream to own her very own Rolls Royce. So I got her one - as any big brother would.

"Are you fucking serious?"

I nodded my head as a grin took over her face. She squealed as she pulled me in for a tight hug again.

"Thank you thank you thank you!"

I ruffled her hair as she swatted my hand away. There were very few things that actually made me happy in this world. I guess I'd have to store this memory in my brain as one of those few memories.

***

Stepping into the shower, I waited for the hot water to steam up the glass. Seeing Luciana listening patiently to Sofia talk about Ilaria had stirred something in me - so much so that my cock started tenting and I was about to come in my sweatpants just by the sight of her. As far as I knew, Sofia didn't really open up to anyone easily - just like me. So the fact that she was confessing all this to Luciana within mere hours of meeting her had me questioning what else she knew about me and my family. I'd have to ask Sofia tomorrow.

I leaned my head forward as I realised that there had been thing - or rather, one woman - that had been a constant ever since I laid my eyes on her. Luciana fucking Rodriguez. Why couldn't I stop thinking about her? What was it about her that drew me to her? For some reason, every time she was around, I couldn't help but want to touch her - want to be close to her. And so I found myself cornering her, trapping her at every chance I got. I could obviously see the blatant lust in her eyes every time. Lust that was for me. I had lost count of the number of dirty scenarios that had gone through my head every time that I caught her looking at me like that. Like I was the one who could fix her. The one who could take away her pain.

A chuckle rose in my throat. I was probably the last person who'd do that. I'd do the opposite actually - inflict pain on her that would make her want to run away from me. I had to keep up with the ruthless criminal image after all. At least, that's what my mind said. My heart...let's just say that it was a different story. Every time those words left her mouth, a piece of it would shatter. Words that hit me right in the centre of my soul and made me realise that I did not deserve to be happy. I would keep paying for my sins till my last breath.

Shaking my head, I pushed those dark thoughts out of my mind. Since Luciana already lived in my head pretty much 24/7, I might as well make the most of it. My hand inched towards my cock as I imagined her hand on it instead of mine. My head jerked up as a bead of precum formed on the tip. Setting a pace, I started stroking my dick lightly as I imagined hearing her moans. How good her delicate fingers would feel wrapped around my huge cock. Maybe she'd even take it into her mouth.

A groan tore through me as I started pumping faster. Luciana's name left my lips as I saw her face in front of me, her bright doe eyes full of lust looking back at me. Those pouty lips that I wanted sucking my cock off. Fuck. I felt my balls tighten and my spine tingle as sticky, white cum shot all over the shower glass. My body jerked several times as I found my release. As my breathing slowed down, the impact of what I'd just done hit me in full force. I'd just jerked off to the image of Luciana. If this was what imagination did to me, then I couldn't even imagine how good it would be in real life. Sighing, I wrapped a towel around my waist as I stepped out. I wiped a hand across the foggy mirror as I looked at my reflection. I'd have to do something about this - or else I'd be stuck with jerking off to Luciana Rodriguez for the rest of my life.

***

Oops...I guess I forgot to mention that today's chapter is a lil NSFW teehehhe🤭
Also thank you sm for 500 reads you gorgey huns...can't believe the love that y'all are showing for Mikhail and Luciana🥺❤

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