Learn to Love » Draco Malfoy x Reader

XXXV

I scoured the manor up and down for any room that might be available for me to take a breather. I knew I wouldn't have long, but I needed at least a few minutes away for myself. It felt like I was suffocating from a multitude of things. The bright flashes of the cameras were enough to knock me out, but the emotions I was feeling on top of everything had me desperate to find someplace to relax.

I had forgotten how many rooms my mother had decorated for this event. Part of it was nice, walking into one of any dozens of rooms and seeing it clad in green and red Christmas colors, but the other part of me feared that meant someone might walk in or snap a picture that would end up as front page news. If the room was decorated, it meant my mother was prepared that someone may walk in. Didn't matter who; she was ready to dazzle.

I poked my head into a few rooms, most of which were occupied. Some just by a few people chatting or sipping drinks, a couple passing by trying to find another room. I could've gone up to my room, but that would make me look like a child running away and hiding. The same went for Draco and I's shared bedroom, but that would only remind me of him further which I didn't know if I could tolerate at the moment. I ruled out any possibility of going to those places.

Even thinking of our shared room sent my mind into a frenzy about Draco. I could almost hear my insides fighting with each other, trying to make a decision.

I had been grappling with the idea of moving on for days. Despite everything that happened, he was still Draco. Perhaps the way of which we were forced together was unconventional, but there was nothing foreign about him to me.

After all this, when he kissed me in front of those reporters, I still felt the same sparks that I always did when he touched me. My heart still skipped a beat, I'm sure that familiar blush of red hit my cheeks. I was never good at hiding how I felt around him, not physically.

What Daphne and Theo said replayed in my mind over and over again. I need to reclaim my independence through other ways. If that means forgiving him, fine. If it meant never speaking to him again and refusing to give him an heir, also fine. I could make that decision myself. I'm intelligent and capable enough to make my own decisions within the context of this arrangement.

We might've been legally bonded together, but that was it; my obligations to this marriage ended there. I did have more freedom than I thought. Sure, I might feel the social pressure to act wifely in certain situations, but I wasn't necessarily obligated to abide by them. That meant being a good spouse to satisfy my parent's agreement, and that's all it meant. I could make something up to account for anything I didn't want to do in our marriage, if I so decided.

Daphne and Theo certainly could dole out good advice when needed.

Speaking of... where were they?

I saw their families, which meant they must be here. I doubted they could slip away or stay home if their parents came along. Especially since they knew how sensitive I was at the moment, there was no way those two would be away.

I decided to change my mission from looking for a room to catch my breath to finding the two of them. No doubt they'd be together, and if they weren't, I'd find them both and force them together for my own moral support.

I passed the drawing room, my eyes scanning over the tons of people. No Daphne, no Theo. I checked the sun room, same thing. The study? No, father wouldn't let anyone in there. The library might have a couple bookworms but there's no way I'd see those two in there.

I paced up and down the halls looking for either of them when I caught the tall, thin frame of a brunette boy right before I almost passed that door. The gangly figure gave away it was the junior Nott.