strawberry lipstick

ten

his lips were soft....
it's as if i kissed a roses petal, weird description but it fits great. his pink lips were warm, i hoped this weren't a dream. that would be a rude and awkward awakening....

-
dreams pov

this was just like any kiss, well.... different.... because this time it was with a boy...
i kept telling myself that i kissed him to get jenny away but i had this killing guy feeling that wasn't the reality. i pushed it away every time it popped up in my mind, distracting me from what i was actually doing.
the whole school knows me as straight, and i stand by that! i AM straight this is just to get jenny away... right?

i feel guilty for doing this but i feel as though i'm already too deep into the feeling, i don't wanna break him for my own sanity, just so i don't loose popularity? that would make me seem like a dick....
like yes i like to act a dick to george but i don't like being rude to EVERYONE.... i still don't know why george is an exception...

sapnap teases me about it all the fucking time, he either says i have a huge crush on him, or that i'm either jealous of him or have repetitively hatred thoughts towards him.
which none of them are necessarily true, at least not to my senses....

when i realized i was loosing breath i pulled back confused, i zoned out again and now came to awkward senses....

shit... what was i gonna do?

(i kissed a girl, katy perry) using song lyrics~

this was never the way i planned, not my intention...
i got so brave my ex staring, lost my discretion...
it's not what i'm used to, just wanna try you on...
i'm curious for you, that caught my attention!!
i kissed a boy! and i liked it? the taste of his strawberry lipstick. DONT MEAN IM IN LOVE TONIGHT!!
no big deal it's just innocent?

without realizing i was staring into the short brunettes brown honey colored eyes.

-
george's pov

"I don't even know what to say... I have so many questions and-" I blabbered out quickly then getting inturupted by dream.

"that was a mistake... lets never talk about this again" dream said sternly but almost in a scared-like tone.

"what do you mean by, "lets never talk about this again"?! we cant just forget about that!" I said in denial.

"what do you like me or something?!" dream said as if he were disgusted.

"youre unbelieveable, dream. and plus me wanting to talk things through has NOTHING to do with liking you" I said then rolling my eyes.

"well good! nobody would ever like you! look at yourself!! no wonder nobody likes you!!" dream stated angrily.

"I-" I said then raising my eyebrow.

(concentrate by lovejoy) using song lyrics.

"I hope the salt water ruins your clothes, and I hope you spend the rest of your life sleeping alone. I hope the problems that make your life harder sit stubborn in your stomach like kidney stones!!" dream said almost anxiously.

"all this over a kiss? youre right there, why you pressed by this??" I asked annoyed.

"b-because.... YOH FORCED ME INTO KISSING YOU!!" dream yelled.

"I WHAT?!" i said not only angrily but furious.

why in gods name would this bitch say i FORCED him to do something HE wanted to do. is he really trying to make me think that i MADE him kiss me? fuck that!

i stormed out of the bathroom and ran outside the school building, i wouldn't be able to last today if i went... and there's no way that i wouldn't make a fool of myself if i did.
i ran home as fast as i could, which to be honest wasn't very fast sense i never ran-
the wind was breezing through my hair and flipping right in front of my face. it felt nice but to be honest all i wanted to do was cry.

why would he blame such a thing on me? when he willingly did something for himself? i hate men...
and the fact i actually thought my crush kissed me and liked it, makes me sick...
i feel stupid, i shouldn't have been messing around with my feelings. i knew that it was gonna hot me in the back someday, but what did i do? ignore it and hope the best.

i honestly don't blame him though... who would wanna kiss me?

but i know that i want you babe... i know you don't feel the same.
so why try? if it's never gonna work...
i just hope not to make a fool tomorrow...

i swung open the door without any thought and saw my mum flinch. shit...

"oh god- i'm so sorry mum! i'm just a little sick..." i said as i ran over to my mum to hug her.

"sick?" my mum said worriedly.

"i'm ok, i think i might just need some rest..." i said guilty but played it off with a smile.

"ok...." my mum said still worried but showed a soft smile.

"don't worry mum, i'm actually ok... i'll let you know when i feel better" i said comfortingly.

"good" my mum said then kissing my forehead.

i forced a smile and kissed her hand then to run up the stairs to go to my room. i opened my door and was met with the same old set up as usual. i just remembered... i have to go to the damn party still-
i can't risk dream to be a bigger dick to my mum... i know she wouldn't be able to handle that, and not very much of it at all.

i flopped on my bed and started sobbing silently on my side... i honestly don't know where i've gone wrong. i just wanna do something right for once but i feel as if i can only do wrong.
when i was younger i was always told by my mum that i should always go for what your heart desires but that desire turned to be crushed.

to be fair i'm not overly upset about it, like yes i'm disappointed and frustrated about the situation. i just hate how i exposed myself to him so quickly and without any warning. for all i know his ex girlfriend is probably gonna attack me and same with the school. that is if dream tells people which i wouldn't be surprised about that to be honest...